


it's too late to say i love you

by ambrosegirl717



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:48:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4699751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambrosegirl717/pseuds/ambrosegirl717
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Dean loses the love of his life and is force to deal with it thinking it's all his fault.  what happens when Dean turns to drugs and self-harm to make thing will his friends help before it goes to far. when Dean  reconnects with a old friend will it be a bad thing or the help he needs. When Dean feels he has nothing left will he tell anyone his feelings so they can help him or will keep to himself. when everything falls apart will anybody be able to save Dean before its too late</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything Jon had fall aparts and is forced to deal with aftermath. what happens when old friend hooks him up with drugs to feel better.

Dean woke up with a hangover he saw Seth's ring on the floor and wondered what happened last night. He knew it had to bad since Seth never took if off. He had a mini flashback

Flashback

"I've seen the seen the way Roman looks at you and you don't say anything about it."

"You want to say that I like him because you know that not true."

"You know what I don't need you, I hate you and get out."

"Fuck you Dean. I'm gone." He took off his ring and threw on the ground and walked out.

End of flashback

Dean picked his phone he had to fix this. He dialed Seth but he didn't pick up.

"Colby it's Jon I'm sorry for last night I was drunk. Colby I'm always gonna love you." Dean didn't know what to do if Seth never loved him again. He called again leaving another message.

"Colby you know I could never hate you. I wish I never said those things."

A day later there still wasn't any answer. He heard a knock on the door he ran to the door he thought it was Seth but it was Roman.

"Jon we need to talk."

"What's wrong?"

"You should sit down." As Roman was talking his voice was cracking.

"There was a bad accident involving Colby."

"So he's in the hospital?" In the back of Dean's mind he knew something was really wrong.

"No he's not. He was killed in car accident there was nothing anyone could do." Dean turned real pale and looked sick.

"You're not serious. Please tell me your lying."

"Wish I was. I'm sorry." He ran to the bathroom where he got sick then he shut the door locking it"

"You want me to stay?"

"No." He sat on the bathroom floor not knowing what to do. He looked over at the sink and saw razor blade and picked it up.

A bunch of thoughts crossed his mind. He placed to his arm and began to cut and that made him feel better. Dean thought how easy it would be to drag it across his wrist. All he could think about was the last thing he said to Seth. He couldn't believe he said he hated him and this was all his fault.

For two days straight he heard his phone go off but didn't care. Dean just lay in bed heart broken. He heard another knock on the door but Roman let himself in.

"Jon are you ok?" He walked into bedroom and saw him lying in bed. He was wearing the same clothes and he didn't move.

"Hunter was wondering about you. He called you numerous times. You need to get up." Roman saw Dean's arm and got worried.

"What's the point I got nothing I just wanna to be left alone."

"Have you been cutting your arm to deal with the pain? You have to deal with it." Dean got cleaned and decided to meet up with some old friends. They met up at a hotel.

"Man you look horrible. What's wrong?"

"I lost my husband in a car accident. I can't deal."

"Man I'm sorry. We got something to help you cope." He handed a Dean a needle he looked back at his friend.

"Is this heroin?"

"Yea I promise it'll make everything go away." Dean put in his arm so he was lying on the couch smiling. He felt a whole lot better. He got high for the whole day

"Look I have t go. Thank you for helping me feel better."

"Your welcome. Here's some and a number of a guy that can hook you up."

3 days later he had to show up to Smackdown so he took a brown box and put his drugs and razors in it with a lock. When he walked in Hunter came up to him and looked pissed.

"Where were you on Monday? Also have you heard from Seth?"

"I was really sick sorry I didn't call. No I haven't." He started to sweat and felt sick. When Hunter walked he ran to his locker room. He started to cry before he shot up he also cut his arm. Soon after Roman walked in and Dean hoped he wouldn't find his secret.

"How are you doing?"

"I feel great. It's hard but I'm dealing."

"You sure everything is ok." By that time everything kicked in more and he was super high.

"Dean."

"Things are great why can't you see that?"

"4 days ago you lost Seth."

"Don't worry I'm dealing."

"Dean right now you're acting scary." He didn't say anything back. As he was walking around he saw a letter from Seth and started to cry. As he was sitting down he thought he was hearing voices talking to me. He turned to a monitor he saw the authority talking about a match.

"Get your ass down here Ambrose." When he heard that he put on a black fishnet thing on his arm and walked to the ring.

"We were supposed to have a match with you and Seth but he's not here so I guess you have a match with Kane. Tell the world where Seth is." Dean looked like he was gonna throw up as a tear ran down his face

"Look I'm not his keeper he's probably too sick to show up." He could barely hold it together. Everyone was looking at him that when Dean ran off making people wonder what was up with him. He sat on the locker room floor and just cried.

Flashback

Dean and Seth were alone in the locker together having fun.

"Colby close your eyes I got a surprise for you." He took out the ring and got down one knee

"Open them." When Seth opened them he saw the ring and started to smile.

"Colby since the moment we got together I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Colby Lopez will you marry me and make the happiest guy in the world. I love you Colby."

"Of course a millions times yes. I love you too Jon." Dean threw his arms around Seth as they kissed

End of flashback

2 weeks later on raw Dean showed up he look like hell he was sweating is started to feel really sick and ran to the bathroom he got sick and didn't know didn't realize that Roman was in the locker room

"Dean are you okay?"

"Don't worry I am fine."

"I can hear you throwing up." He knew he needed to get some more drugs he knew couldn't drive since he was getting sick all day. He took out his phone and texted his dealer to come for the arena. Soon he came out of bathroom he looked like shit.

"I'm fine trust me."

"Dean you look so sick I can't believe everything is fine okay."

"Look I think I have a bug but I'll feel better soon." Roman didn't trust or believe or trust him. He knew he wasn't going to get any straight answers Dean walked to the parking lot making sure no one could see and he got the drugs he ran to the is locker room and shot up soon he felt much better. He locked the rest of it up in a box. Soon Roman and came back and noticed a change in Dean

"How do you feel now?"

He was too zoned out to answer back he just sat there smiling he got in his face.

"Dean there's something not right here."

"I'm fine if something was up I tell you." After that things got weird Dean looked at him.

"Colby I missed you I guess your not mad at me anymore I love you." He kissed Roman on the lips he backed away not sure what to say to him he wanted to walk away.

"How come you're not saying anything I know I messed up but don't ignore me?" After that Dean almost fell started to nod out and fell asleep when he awoke he wondered why Roman looks scared and weirded out.

"Roman what's wrong?"

"Dean you're acting really scary and I'm worried about you."

"What did I do?" Roman he wasn't sure how to answer that.

"Right in the middle of me talking to you nodded off and had no memory of what happened   
"I'm not playing with you show me your arm." Roman grabbed his arm pulling down the fishnet thing before Roman could see anything. Dean yanked his arm back.

"Roman mind your own fucking business I told you I'm fucking fine. God I can't even trust my own goddamn brother."

"You're not acting like yourself. If something is wrong you know I'm there for you. Don't you dare act like I don't fucking care. He started nod again and fell asleep. Roman looked at his arm and was shocked. When he woke up he looks scared looking around "Colby no." He ran to the bathroom with his brown box he didn't come out for a while. Roman had idea what he was doing but didn't say a word. When he had his match he wrestled like nothing was wrong. After that Hunter came up to him.

"Dean we need to talk."

"About what?"  
"Is there something wrong with you? Are you on drugs?"

"No things are fine." as he said that he said he started to nod out. Hunter just looked at him wondered what was going on and gave him a gentle push.

"What."

"You nodded off. What is going on?"

"I didn't get enough sleep." Hunter looked at that thing on his arm.

"What's that on your arm?"

"Just something I wear."

"Show me your arm right now." He took part of it off Hunter saw the marks.

"What is fucking going on? Don't fucking lie to me."

"I was in a car accident. The car window shattered on my arm." Dean went to walk away hoping he bought it

"Sorry hope you feel better."

On Smackdown things got worse Dean was the same clothes he had on for days and look completely out of it. Everyone looked at him wondering what was wrong. He just walked in his locker room and shot up. Paige walking to his locker room she wanted to talk.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"What's wrong with you I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine don't worry about me." He nodded off her as he started to fall asleep backstage take Stephanie screamed no and she was crying everybody wanted to know what happened. She walked to the ring with Hunter

"We have some bad news about one of our Superstars. We were told that Seth Rollins was killed in a car accident." Everyone was in shock and they wondered why they didn't see Dean being upset. He was still passed out his locker room when he awoke walked out he saw everyone crying. Paige came up to him and hugged him.

"Why is everybody crying?"

"Seth died." When he heard the news he went numb felt like you heard it all over again. He felt so sick you ran to his locker room and lock the door and started to feel like he couldn't breathe here to knock on the door

"Who is it?"

"I got a package for you he open the door long enough to get it when he opened it and saw Seth's phone every type in the password to unlock any song lights blinking on the message icon he clicked on it and saw a draft and read it.

Dean's P.O.V

Colby was texting me right before he died he still loves me. Everybody knows about Seth and they're all looking at me for my reaction. I can't take this anymore why can't I be alone with it.

At the funeral everyone looked for Dean but he wasn't there. That didn't stop people from talking about it he made sure Seth was wearing his ring everyone was gone.

Dean went to his grave stone and sat there:

Why did you have to go and leave me to tell me you love me. I can't deal being here without you. We said we were going to get married. I have nobody I need you here Colby please come back to me. I love you Colby always did I never imagined we only have 4 years together you. Never thought about me when you risked your life that night and how I would deal without you here. You could have just came home looked me in the eye and said I love you now it's too late. What I need you to go on.

It was the first time in a month he cried and couldn't take it anymore he got in his car shot up. He sat his car for a while. His phone was going off the messages from everybody wondering where he was today he shut off his phone and threw it on the seat next to him.

The next raw things got worse he was all pale, sweating and was scratching his arm. He ran into Paige again.

"How you doing? I didn't see you at the memorial service."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine you look sick."

"I'm fine."

"You should talk about it."

"I would like if you left me alone. maybe I don't want to be reminded of what happened." As Dean was walking to his locker room he felt like the whole world was spinning by the time he was going to throw up. He put his hand over his mouth as he threw up. Soon everyone was looking at him. He managed to get to locker room before it started again. He looked out of a shirt but didn't care. He had to go on stage for the tribute when Dean walked out Roman stopped him

"Dean you look at yourself. You should clean yourself off before you go out. You don't care that you threw up on yourself and you're going to go out looking like that." By that time Dean started to nod off again.

"Look Roman I think I caught a virus I just want to hold out for the show."

"You should go home." He started to walk to the ring. He wanted to get it over with. They had a beautiful tribute to the song My Immortal everyone cried. Afterwards Dean went to his locker room and shot up and started to feel better. He took off his shirt and put on his hoodie an hour later Dean looked around his locker room he was scared and ran out of his locker room.

"Where are you Seth? Why did you leave." he saw Randy and what up to him and what up to him he looked worried.

"Have you seen Seth?"

"Dean are you are ok? Seth's gone." He stood there confused and started to nod out

"Hi Randy."

"Dean you need help because there's something seriously wrong with you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"Look I'm fine." Dean could hear everyone talking about Seth and he felt like crying. He started to run to his locker room and didn't see the wall and slammed really heard into it causing him pass out. Randy ran to him. Dean had a big bruise on his head

Dean are you ok? Say something?" soon he got up and walked to his locker room before got in Randy stopped him.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes expect for this splitting headache I have."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No what happened."

"You ran into the wall causing to you pass for a quick while." He didn't answer him back Dean just shut the door locking it. Dean looked at himself in the mirror. He looked so pale and had he had bruise on his forehead. He didn't recognize like himself anymore. But didn't care, Dean saw the tattoo on his neck that read CL4EVA. He felt his heartbreak and pulled his fishnet thing and cut his arm. He felt much and pulled it back up. Dean and walked out his locker room feeling so much happier. As he was walking to the parking lot Randy stopped him.

"What is this time?"

"Dean you're bleeding." He looked at his arm and just smiled like he didn't care

"So what don't have something to do then bother me?"

"I'm concerned about you show me your arm." Dean walked away falling a couple of times. He got in his driving away to a liquor store where he got some whiskey and beer. He set in the parking lot drinking. Soon he started to feel withdraw symptoms and got sick. He saw Cena and went to him.

"I need you to do me a huge favor."   
"Sure."

"Bring me my brown box and in my locker room and bring to me. Hurry I need it." When he got his box he got in his car locking the door and shot up. He found a way to find a way to sneak his liquor bottle in the building. Dean started to chew gum to hide the smell of the alcohol on his breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean ad Seth first meet and it's love at first site. a freak accident for a storyline threats end everything for them. what will Colby do when he worlds seems to falls apart by his hands

2011

Jon was new to this Federation and didn't know anyone. When Jon saw Colby he was lost in this eyes. He smiled when he came up to him.

"Hi Jon I'm Colby Lopez." He stood there smiling as his heart skipped a beat. Jon had never felt like that. As they got closer they were lost in each others eyes. That night is Dean was leaving Colby stopped him.  
"You want to get something to eat?"  
"Sure I love to." Jon got in Colby's car they drove to McDonalds. As Colby was driving he took his hand and place it on Jon's hand and soon and they were holding hands. It was a instant connection. When they got there they just talked till it was late. 

"It's late we should go."  
"You should stay with me tonight"  
"I have to get my car."  
"Look meet me here." After Colby dropped him off he wrote down his address. Jon had just fallen in love with Colby. Jon drove to his house and wondered what would happen. He rang the doorbell soon Colby answered. They sat on the couch holding hands  
"You want to watch a movie?"  
"Sure." Soon they watched a movie Colby put his arms around Jon pulling on him and closer and waiting for a kiss that lasted for a while. Jon soon fall asleep on his lap as Colby held him tight. 

 

Two weeks later

Jon came up to Colby smiling before kissing him.  
"Does this mean I'm your boyfriend?"  
"Yes of course I don't want anybody but you. Jon since the first moment we were together I knew I wanted you."  
"I feel the same way." Jon sat on Colby's lap as they made out as Colby put his arms around Jon. Both of them have never felt love like this. Jon was starting in those perfect brown eyes he knew it was true love.   
"Colby I love you."  
"I love you too Jon."

A year later

They were both in the WWE part of the shield and closer than ever. Dean and Seth were in the locker room talking about the future  
"Colby I love you with all my heart and I know I want to be with you forever. I couldn't imagine my life without you."  
"I'm not going to go anywhere I'm never going to leave you I promise you."  
"I love you Colby I fall more in love with you everyday we're together. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."  
"I love you too Jon. I feel the same way too. They kissed as Colby held Jon tight. On their one year anniversary 8/3/12 Jon and Colby got matching tattoos of lovers initials on their necks Colby's read JG4EVA and Jon's read CL4EVA. The next raw they walked in and everyone could see their new ink. Some thought they were stupid for doing that. Hunter pulled Dean and Seth in his office he looked pissed.

"I heard the both of got neck tattoos showing off your love. We gonna blur them when you guys are on stage."

"How come?"

"You know this is PG and we're not gonna have you play lovers onstage. I have nothing against you two together." They hated having to hiding their love. They had play brothers/friends onstage. The next day they went apartment hunting and found the perfect place.

"Our place together Jon it's gonna be great. I love you baby."

"I agree. I love you too." Jon kissed Colby and the two of them stood in front of new place took and pic putting social media. They next day they moved their stuff in. 2 hours later they were in the couch in each other arms.

"I can't wait for the day we're married in here. Jon there's no one I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."

"Aww I love you Colby so much." They kissed looked in each others eyes. That night they made sweet love in their new place. When Colby was sleeping Jon took a pic of him as two of them slept in each other arms. Over the weekend they had party. Inviting Roman and other friends and parted all night long. Jon got drunk and started to act crazy and worried Colby. Later Colby slept on the bathroom next to Jon. He hated to see him like that. Jon woke up and saw Colby next to him

"You were here all night?"

"Of course I wasn't gonna leave you your side when you were sick. I love you and I'll be there when need me." He kissed Jon as they held each other.

"You're the best boyfriend. I love you Colby. Thanks for being there." They both took a shower together and then they watched tv in each other arms

When the shield broke up

As Seth was hitting Dean he felt bad but had to act like that didn't bother him. When he looked back and saw the hurt in Dean's eyes Seth felt his heartbroken. When the show was over they went back to their place. Seth could tell something was wrong with Dean

"Everything ok baby?"

"I'm just in pain. I wanna lie down. I love you." When Jon took his shirt Colby saw the bruises feeling bad. He sat next to him running his fingers down his back.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. Does it hurt when I do that?"

"I understand you didn't mean to and that feels really good. Jon kissed Colby and his put head in his lap.

Colby POV

I can't believe I had to hurt Jon for a storyline. I couldn't act like care and just leave him there hurt. Jon was ok with that and that he understood but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad. They now want us to hate each other onstage. I could ever hate him. I hate seeing Jon hurt and sad

Seth was told he was gonna hurt Dean but he didn't know how far they were gonna take it when he agreed.

That night

Seth grabbed Dean by the hair and put his head on the cinder blocks as he did that Seth felt sick to the stomach. Seth stomped on his head as Dean just lay there motionless and saw blood dripping down the blocks. "What the fuck did just do." Seth thought. He had to act like he didn't care. The medics out on the stretcher and see saw all the blood. As they were loading Dean on the ambulance he had a bad seizure and had another one and slipped into a coma. Backstage Seth was done acting like it didn't bother him and bother him. He broke down crying running to his locker room to put on his hoodie and rushed to the hospital. Seth had to pull over to throw up because the entire thought running threw his head made him sick. When he got the hospital he ran to the front desk.

"I'm looking for Jonathan Good's room he was brought bin by ambulance."

"Are you family?" When Colby hear that he almost got sick again because that didn't sound good.

"Yes I'm just brother." The doctor came to him Colby wasn't trying to cry.

"Your brother lost a lot of blood. He has bad head injury. On the way to the hospital he suffered two seizures and slipped to a coma." Colby walked in his hospital room and he hooked to so many things, Colby took Jon by the hand

"Oh my god I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. Jon I love you so much. I need you too wake up. You're my everything. I can't believe all this happened, I wish I could take this all back. Please don't die." Colby's phone went off it was Hunter he pushed ignore. He got a text to be back to the building.

"Johnny baby I have to go. Remember I love you." He got in a car driving back to the arena and wonder what Hunter wanted. Before he could get in the building Hunter was in parking lot waiting for him.

"You just took off in the middle of the show. What the fuck Seth?"

"I almost killed my boyfriend all because you told me take him out. You act like you don't care."

"We didn't know it could down like that."

"Oh you just feed me excuses. I don't need this shit. I'm going back to by Jon's side and I don't really care what you care." Seth drove back to the hospital and walked in his room where he grabbed Jon's hand.

"Jon you know I would never hurt you. If you don't wake up I could never forgive myself. You're the most important person in my life. I wish I could take way all your pain and make things better. Jon you have no idea how much I truly love you and always will. Colby didn't leave his Jon's die. When Colby turned on Smackdown he felt sick the way Hunter covered it up.

"After the actions on raw we don't know when Dean Ambrose will be back. He hurt his neck quite bad."

Colby took Jon's hand this time he was crying.

"Jon you really have wake up it's been 3 days. Please don't give up. You don't know how much I need you in my life. You're the love of my life the man I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. Your a fighter please fight. I can't lose you Jon not now." He kissed him on the lips be laid on the floor and cried. Soon the doctor came and looked at Colby.

"Colby we need your brother to wake up and the longer it takes mean he may not wake up." Colby couldn't believe what he just heard and fell to knees and started to pray.

"God I need you. The love of my life won't wake up and you help him wake up. I can't imagine my life without him in it. God please help you're my last hope. You can't let him died." He prayed all night hoping it would help and prayed some more.

"This is all my fault don't punish him because I made a stupid mistake. Please I'm begging you. Jon please wake up. I can't watch you die."

Johnny hit his knees and there he prayed  
Take the very breath you gave me  
Take the heart from my chest  
I'll gladly take her place if you'll let me  
Make this my last request  
Take me out of this world  
God, please don't take the girl

He kissed Jon on the lips and he felt someone grab his hand it was Jon. Colby saw those handsome blue eyes.

"Colby I love you. My head hurts so bad."

"I'm so glad you woke up. I love you so much Jon. You have no idea how sorry I am for all that happened. Please forgive me for it all."

"I know it wasn't your fault. How long I have you been here?"

"3 days. I couldn't leave your side. I don't what I'd do if ever lost you." The doctor came in and saw Jon awake and went over to talk to him.

"Mr. Good how do you feel?"

"My head hurts so bad."

"Do remember what happened before you slipped into the coma?"

"My head was hit on concrete blocks."

"We're gonna keep you here for one more day to make sure everything is ok so you don't have relapse." Colby looked up smiling and whispered "thank you god." Colby climbed into the bed so he hold Jon in his arms. He saw the bandage on Jon's head and got sad.

"Hunter was mad at me for running to your side in the middle raw. I told him that I was gonna be by your side I didn't care what he thought."

"I bet you he gonna screw with you when you get back onstage."

"He didn't care that you could die. I don't care what he does. You're the only one that means anything to be other my family. I love you Jon."

"I love you too Colby." Dean heard his phone vibrate he looked at and it was Roman.

"Hi Roman."

"OMG I've been calling your phone for 3 days. I was so worried."

"I'll explain at the hospital."

"Hospital." Roman rushed over to the hospital to know what was wrong with Jon. When he got Roman hugged him.

"Why are you in the hospital and what happened to you on raw?"

"I'll let Colby explain my memory is fuzzy."

"When Jon hit the concrete blocks he had 2 seizures causing him slip into a coma. He just woke up." Roman had a shocking look his face. Jon went to get up and feel and he felt like the whole room was spinning.

"I feel like the room is spinning and starting to make me sick. Colby I want to go home."

"I know baby but you have stay one more day." Jon put his head in lap he like always did when he wasn't feel well.

"Roman can you bring over some clothes?" Colby threw him his keys.

"Of course." The next day the doctor came in to room and Jon was hoping he could go home.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm still problems walking but I feel fine."

"We're letting go home today. You have to come back in 3 weeks to get the stitches out." Jon got dressed and Colby wheeled him the car. Jon decided to go to raw even though he still had to the wheelchair. The superstars were in shock seeing Dean. Seth had to talk about the incident. His theme started to play and he walked to the ring

"It's been a whole week and we still haven't seen Dean Ambrose. I took him out for awhile and that will teach him not mess with the authority. Come on Ambrose get in the ring and fight me. Oh wait you can't too bad. He smiled as him and J&J laughed. When Seth and Dean where alone they kissed talked.

"Colby I hate using this wheelchair. I want to able to walk. Your were great out here. I love you."

"I love you too. Don't worry soon everything will be normal. I'm just grateful you're here with me." The two kissed as Colby helped Jon out of his wheelchair on to the bench so he could hold me. 3 days later he was able to walk without a wheelchair but needed a crutch to walk right. That didn't stop Hunter for making a match with him and Randy. It was so hard to fight because his walking was off. He tried to limp but didn't help him. He lost the match and Roman had to help him get out of the ring. They made Seth come and taunt him on the ramp.

"Poor Ambrose needs Roman's help get out of the ring. I guess I really hurt you. I have the upper hand there's nothing you can do about it. Dean made his way up the ramp and slapped Seth across his face. Jamie grabbed Dean's crutch as Jamie pushed him down.

"When I got my strength back you're so fucking dead Rollins."

"Big talk for a guy for lying here unable to get up." Jamie and Joey kicked in the stomach a couple times. When Roman showed up they ran as he picked Dean up and carried out. When they got home Jon went to upstairs to change his clothes. Colby felt bad when he saw the bruises. He ran his fingers over it before he kissing him.

"How do you feel?"

"Tried and sore. Not being able to walk right take a toll. I love you Colby."

"I love you too Jon."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things for Dean gets worst and thinks about doing bad things to himself

6 months later

Dean looked ever worse, he was paler and looked completely out of it. He wouldn't stop scratching his arm. Randy could tell he was sweating and went to him.

"You look really sick." He could barley pay attention to him and nodded at him, Randy got in his face waving his hand.

"Dean are you ok?"

"What did you say?"

"There is something really wrong with you."

"Once again I'm fine but do you listen no." Dean started to cough really bad and Randy could hear him wheezing like he couldn't breathe. Dean tried to run to his locker room but couldn't get far as he fell to his knees. Dean knew something was really wrong with him  
"Randy I'm having problems breathing." Dean was scared that they find out his secret. The medics soon came putting on a oxygen mask on him that made him feel better until one of them came up to him.

"Mr. Ambrose you really don't look well. You should go the hospital and get check out."

"I just over exerted myself and got short of breath."

"We checked your temperature it was 102." Just then he could feel like he was gonna be sick and he knew if he threw up in front of them they could take him to the hospital.

"Look I have to go the bathroom really bad." Dean ran to the bathroom where he got sick feeling weak all over and it lasted for 10 minutes. Dean didn't know he wasn't alone that was when Jamie came up to him he looked worried.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes. I guess what I ate earlier didn't agree with me."

"Are you sure because your lip is bleeding?" Dean noticed he threw up a little blood. When he got up he felt dizzy and held on to the wall

"I just bit my lip. Jamie can do me a big favor."

"Sure."

"There a brown box on my table. Can you bring to it to me?"

"Ok." When Jamie brought it to him he unlocked getting the drugs that when he shot up with no idea that Jamie was still here. He just lay on the floor smiling about the time Jamie went to leave and Dean grabbed him by the arm.

"Jamie you can't tell anyone what you saw."

"I don't know this too big. Dean you're on drugs."

"I can make you feel really good. I need this don't take this all away."

"I'll do it."

"You're my new best friend." Jamie walked with the new secret he now knew. Dean still felt sick even thought he did his fix, he went to his locker room and put his head down but that didn't help. Dean decided to do a small hit that when he did he could feel the whole room spin in a good way. He went for his match with Kane. He was on in the zone till he felt dizzy and body got really hot and wondered what was going. He got on top rope and fell off the top landing on his head. When he got up everyone could see the blood. Dean went on and on the win the match. When Dean went backstage everyone looked at him with worried looks. Roman came to Dean pulling him aside he was worried.

"Dean do you know that you're bleeding?"

"No."

"You busted the back of your head open and you've been bleeding for while." Dean touched the back of the head and he saw his hand was all bloody.

"Wow I didn't feel anything."

"Dean I'm taking to the hospital you need help."

"Fine just let me get something." He went his locker room grabbing his box. When they were driving Roman noticed his strange behavior wondering what was wrong.

"Dean tell me what is going on with you." He was zoned out to hear him so he just nodded at him. When they got the hospital Roman checked him in.

"My friend Jonathan Good hit his head and busted it up really bad. Roman wanted to tell to give him a drug test. 5 minutes later the doctor came to see him.

"Mr. Good what happened?"

"I fell busting my head up really bad and I'm bleeding." The doctor started to look at him closer.

"Are you sure that's it. You look really pale and you might a fever."

"I want to do a blood test on you make sure you not really sick. Dean was afraid that would find his on drugs when they did the blood test. 5 minutes alter the doctor came back.

"It seems like your running a 103 fever, the tests back normal and we stitched up your head. We'd like you to here till you fever comes down."

"I feel fine. I'd like to go." When he got up seemed a little off and get really dizzy.

"How long have you been getting dizzy like that?" Jon knew how long been like that.

"Maybe the fever is making me dizzy." He soon fell asleep he slept for a long time. He woke up screaming Seth's name and everyone looked at him calling the doctor.

"The nurse said you were screaming. Is everything ok?"

"I had a bad dream." That morning Dean got dressed calling a cab to take him to get his car. He got in his car and went home by the time he got home he felt so sick. Dean tried to run to the bathroom but his vision was so bad he couldn't walk. He was able to make it outside before he got sick. As he was getting sick Dean heard a knock on the door oh shit Dean Thought. Roman walked into the door he was looking Dean.

"Jon I know you're here. Is everything ok?" Dean wondered if he could hide that fact that he was still getting sick and hoped that Roman wouldn't find him like that. Dean walked back into the house he left so sick and weak. All Dean wanted to get high.

"Hi Roman don't worry I'm fine." He took one look at him and knew that was a lie. He was sweating looking even paler and Dean had blood on his lip.

"Jon why is there blood on your lips. You look really sick."

"I bit my lip." When Dean coughed he saw blood and made him a little worried but he just washed his mouth out and everything seemed to be better. He still felt like throwing up. Roman came to him and cheeked his forehead it was really hot.

"Jon I need to check your temperature. I think you have a really bad fever."

"Fine." Dean said in annoyed tone as he started to start to scratch his arm. When Roman checked his temperature he was in shock.

"Jon you have a 104 fever. You need to go back the hospital. If it climbs any higher it could kill you."

"Fine but give me 5 minutes and we'll go. I feel fine but you want to be prove so bad there something bad wrong with me." Dean walked into his room and got high. When Dean got the hospital he came up to the front desk.

"My name is Jonathan Good I was just here a couple hours ago. I thought I was fine but my fever is getting worst. As Dean was talking he started to slur his words and Roman looked at him. Dean started to feel like he couldn't breathe again. He started to wheeze that when Roman rushed over to him.

"Jon can you breathe?"

"No." By that time they got Dean to a bed giving a breathing treatment and something to lower his fever.

"How many times have to felt like you couldn't breathe?"

"This is my second time." The doctor noticed there was something wrong with him

"You have bronchitis and looks like you've had for over a week. Did you notice any symptoms?"

"No." The doctor looked at him closer noticed something was up with him.

"Have you used any drugs in the last 24 hours?"

"No I haven't." Dean was hoping they won't give him blood test and find the truth

2 weeks later

Dean was no longer sick and since he was hospital he wasn't able to use and was clean. He was alone with all his thoughts which made him sad. He looked at his small sliver ring and he had flashback to how he got his ring.

Flashback

It had been 3 weeks the horrible accident that almost took Dean's life. Seth decided to get a Dean a gift.

"I got you something for you Johnny baby." He handed Jon a small box he opened the box and saw the ring

"I got you a promise ring. This means I promise you I'm always gonna be yours and I'm never gonna leave you."

"I love you Colby." Jon threw his arms around him holding him before kissing him.

"I love you too Jon."

Flashback over

Dean took off the ring crying really hard and picked it holding it. He looked inside of the ring and it read I love you Jon 4eva love Colby he threw it across the room

You said you'll never leave and you'll be there for me. Well you're gone and I'm here alone. So much for your fucked promised. It been a year and I'll can't deal with this. All I want you here.

Dean called up his dealer to get some more drugs. He shot up soon he felt better and also he cut his arm. His phone was going off it was Roman so he picked up.

"Hi Roman."

"You sound better. How are you feeling?" He hated when Roman asked him that.

"I'm fine."

"So you're coming to raw tonight." Jon didn't want to be around anyone but didn't want to hear Hunter's mouth

"Yes I'll be there." Jon got in his car as he was driving he was having problems because he was so high he started to not out. Couldn't get the thoughts of Colby out of his mind. When he parked the car he fell asleep and had a dream that they were getting married as he was sleeping Jon started to cry he was talking to himself "Don't go Colby I need you here." then he screamed "Colby come back." Dean heard a knock at his window he woke up looked up rolling down his window. It was Randy what did he want Dean wondered.

"I heard you scream are you ok?" Randy saw that Jon was crying.

"Do I look okay? I just want to be alone right now."

"I hope you feel better." Jon didn't answer him he just rolled back up his window and started to cut. He walked into the building hoping he could get to his locker room without anybody coming up to him. As Dean sitting there is he started to feel sick like the high was wearing off. He walked to the bathroom and shot up soon he felt better. Then he started to hallucinate seeing Seth he started to talk to him.

"How come you left me without thinking about me?"

"Oh that's your answer even though you told me you never leave me." As Dean was having his weird conversation some superstars gathered by the door and started to wonder what was going on.

"I'm sorry but if you were you would be here right now with me I love you with all my heart you threw it all away to send me a text don't say you love me it means nothing anymore if you did you would have come home." Randy came up to Dean by the way Dean was acting he was nervous about talking to him

"Dean what's going on?"

"I'm talking to Seth. Why do you act all worried?"

"No one is there Dean and Seth died a year ago."

"I see him right there." Dean pointed to the seat next to him. Randy wasn't sure what to say to him. Dean looked like he was about to cry and ran to the bathroom. Dean didn't come out for 30 minutes when he did he looked at Randy with a weird look.

"What are you doing here Randy?"

"We were talking."

"I don't remember." Randy walked out he wasn't going to talk to him he was in that weird state. Paige came up to Randy wondering what happened.

"What happened with Dean?" "He told me he was talking to Seth then he pointed to where he said Seth was."

"That's crazy there's something really wrong with him."

"I agree he's been getting really worse he's not the same person we knew." Dean walked out of his locker room and everyone was still looking at him like he was crazy. He was sweating a lot and walked out of the building. He was wearing nothing but a tank top and jeans that make people wonder since it was only 32 degrees out. Roman decided to go out and talk to him.

"Dean you need get inside before you freeze."

"I feel fine Roman but of course you always see me as sick. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I care abut you. You're walking outside in freezing cold temperatures acting your crazy."

"I'm not cold if I was do you think I'll be out here." Roman walked over to him noticing her was burning up. When he touched Dean's forehead it was hot.

"The only reason you can't feel it is because you have a fever. Please come in side." He grabbed Dean's hand but Dean walked away

"Roman why can't you back off and leave me alone."

"There is something really wrong with you. I'm not gonna sit back and watch you slip away. I hate to do this." Roman punched Dean hard in the face causing him to pass out. He threw him over his shoulder. Roman laid Dean on the bench before he left he looked at his arm and was in shock oh Dean why. Roman thought trying to not crying. When Dean woke up he was mad walking to Roman's locker room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Roman? You punched me in the fucking face."

"It was only way I could get you come inside."

"You couldn't leave me alone." As Dean was talking felt the spin feeling like he was gonna throw up. Roman could tell that Dean looked sick.

"What are you gonna do threw up? You'll always sick why wont you let me help you?"

"I'm fine. There is nothing wrong me." Dean went to leave but Roman stopped him blocking the door.

"What are gonna do run back to locker room and throw up?" Dean tried to run to the bathroom but Roman stood between the door.

"Gheez Roman can't I fucking piss in private?"

"Bull shit. I know what you're gonna do in there. I'm not fucking stupid." Dean knew he couldn't hold it anymore. He just hoped he didn't throw up blood this time. Dean ran into the bathroom Roman followed and got real sick. When Dean got up he could barely stand looking even paler.

"Tell me the truth why did you get sick? Don't fucking say a virus or bug." Dean was trying to think of a reason Roman would believe.

"I tried to eat something but when I eat it makes me sick." Roman rolled his eyes at Dean.

"What you don't believe me do you?"

"Of course not but you not gonna tell me truth. Why won't you tell me the truth?"

"So what if I threw up. Why do I need an answer for that?"

"Normal people don't throw up all the time. You get so weak afterwards. I bet when you were in the hospital you were fine." Dean didn't answer Roman he was tired of hearing him. He started to fall asleep nodding in and out.

"Look Roman I just wanna go back to my locker room and lie down. If that's ok with you."

"You can lie here."

"Oh you just want to keep a eye on me. Well I'm leaving and don't follow me." Dean walked out trying to make it his locker room. The room was spinning and his lightheadedness made it hard to walk. When he got to his locker he reached for his drugs. When he was about shoot up when he heard a knock at the door.

"Dean please open up."

"Go away Roman I'm done talking to you."

"Look I'm gonna come in."

"Roman just leave me the fuck alone." He was able to shoot up before the door opened. Dean locked his box hiding the key.

"What are you doing in there?"

"None of your fucking business. I know you wanna catch doing something bad." Roman grabbed Dean's arm pulling down the fishnet thing.

"What is it with you and poking me?"

"I'm gonna find what your hiding. I just want to help you."

"You wanna help then leave me alone."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"Do you have idea what I'm going through? I'm trying to deal the way I know how. All you want to do is breathe down my back."

"Whatever you're doing isn't healthy. You're slowly killing yourself just so you won't have to feel any pain."

"If this was you wouldn't be talking." Dean started to cry as Roman put his arm around him. Dean thought about driving home the one place he could be alone.

"Roman I'm gonna go home."

"How come?"

"I just wanna rest of awhile to feel better." He put on his hoodie and started to walk out the building Roman stopped him.

"What is it now?"

"You shouldn't be alone."

"What you're scared I'll try to kill myself." Dean laughed at what he said as Roman looked at him.

"That's not funny. Don't joke like that."

"Oh you thought I was serous. Let's see what will happen." Dean laughed again as pressed the razor to the wrist. Dean couldn't stop laughing and didn't care he that was scaring Roman. In the back of Dean's mind that felt right when he did that. Roman just stood there in shock not knowing what say or do. He saw something in Dean's eyes that scared him.

"Dean promise me you won't do anything to serious harm to yourself tonight."

"Fine."

2 weeks later

It was much harder for Dean to escape his thoughts. One night on Smackdown he went to cut himself like he always did. This time Dean stared at the blade with dark thoughts swirling in his head. He got high hoping that make things but it didn't Dean walked into the bathroom turning on the shower. Dean stepped in sitting down and started talking to himself.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. He cut his right wrist deep as he had a flashback

Flashback

Jon was lying in Colby's arms looking his perfect brown eyes.

"I could lie in your arms all day. I'm thinking about how I'll always love you."

"I love you too."

"Jon I'm lucky I met you because you're my soul mate."

"I feel the same way too. Colby can you promise me something?"

"Of course anything for you."

"You'll be my side."

"Jon I'll never leave you ever. We've together a year but it feels like I loved all my life. I couldn't imagine not having you as a part of my life."

"I love you Colby."

"I love you Jon."

Flashback over

Dean thought heard Roman's voice but couldn't tell as he faded in and out of consciousness. Dean was smiling at the thought that things were be better.

"Dean I know you here. Answer me." Roman could hear the shower running. When Roman walked into the bathroom he was in shock seeing all the blood.

"Jon speak me." He picked Jon up pressing a towel to his wrist. Roman couldn't hold it he started to cry.

"We need a medic." They ran over as Dean lay motionless in Roman's arms before putting him on a stretcher. They noticed the deep cut on his wrist.

"Did he do this to himself?"

"No his mirror shattered and cut him quite bad." They rushed Dean to the hospital before Roman left he punched out the mirror. He drove to the hospital wondered if Dean was alive when Roman got there he rushed to the front desk.

"My friend Jonathan Good was brought here. What room?"

"Sir they're still working on him. You want me to the tell doctor when he's done to talk to you."

"Yes." 20 minutes later the doctor came to Roman but he was scared what he was gonna say.

"You're Mr. Good's friend?"

"Yes. He is ok?"

"We managed to save him but we concerned that it was a self- inflicted. He lost of a blood."

"He's been really depressed lately. But I didn't know he take it this far. Can I see him?"

"Of course." Roman walked into Dean's room he was awake.

"I can't believe you Jon. You tried to fucking kill yourself. What were you hoping no one would find you?"

'I'm sorry. It got of hand and I know you're mad at me."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. Do you know what I thought when I found you? I thought you had died and All you can you how sorry you are."

"I don't know what to think anymore. Right now I need a lecture I know messed up badly. Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't. Just promise you won't so this again."

"Promise." Roman gave Dean a hug relived he was alive. The doctor came in to talk about to Dean about what happened.

"We need to talk about what happen to your wrist."

"I accidentally cut it." The doctor looked at him like he knew he was lying.

"If it was an accident like you say why did it take you so long to seek help?"

"I didn't know it was really bad till it too late."

"We know you cut your own wrist. Why did you do it?"

"You think I need help. You want me say I tried myself. Look I wanna go."

"We want to keep here for awhile. You almost died."

"You want to make sure I don't do it again." When the doctor left Dean got dressed ripping out his IV and walked out. Roman tried to stop him but he kept walking. As Dean was walking the whole room started to spin and he fainted. When he woke up it was hours later.

"What happened?"

"You fainted." Dean noticed they put his IV back in. Dean looked in corner and smiled.

"Colby you're here. I guess you want to make I'm ok. God I love you." Roman wondering was going on.

"Why did you leave me again and not show up? You can't keep doing this to me." Dean got up walking to the corner but didn't see Colby turning to Roman with a sad look.

"Where did Colby go? He was right here." That was one question Roman couldn't answer. Could I lie to him Roman thought.

"You should really rest." Dean fell asleep as Roman was still trying to figure out what he saw. 3 days later Dean left the hospital. He decided to go to raw not sure what people to say when they saw him. As Dean and Roman were driving Roman wanted to talk about what happened that night.

"Dean we need to talk."

"Sure. Not if it's about what happened."

"Jon you know Colby's not here anymore. I know you see him to make things better." There was no answer as he heard Dean crying. That made Roman feel bad seeing him cry.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's ok." When they there everyone saw Dean's bandaged wrist wondering what happened, others just talked.

That's so pathetic he tried to kill himself. I'm surprised he's even here that somebody didn't commit his crazy ass.

He finally snapped deciding to end it all. I bet he doesn't even want to be anymore. He shouldn't be here but in a mental hospital. When Dean heard them talking he wanted to fight but walked away.

Dean's POV

Everyone thinks I should be in a mental hospital because of what I did. No one cares I bet if I was died they would be sorry and sad. Fuck em all. Roman was the only who cared

When he got this locker room Randy and Paige came up to him.

"We're glad your ok. We heard what happened."

"Thank you." They hugged him. Maybe he had 2 other who cared about him. Hunter came in he looked pissed.

"Dean did you try to kill yourself in your locker room last Thursday?"

"No my mirror broke and cut my wrist. I wouldn't do anything like that." Dean hoped he wouldn't see his bandaged wrist but he just walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the shit clears does Dean feel sorry for what he did

Dean unwrapped his bandage when he saw the all the stitches on his wrist Dean felt bad that he could go that far. Dean called up his dealer he wanted to take more then heroin. When they met in the parking lot he gave Dean Oxytcin. He went to the locker room to shoot up. When Dean snort it up he got a high he new felt before. Dean knew it was wrong but mixed it with heroin that felt so good. He put the pills in his little box. Dean sat there staring into the space when Roman walked into the room.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful. You have no idea how great I feel."

"Are you sure?" Dean stopped listening he in was in own world. When Roman looked in his eyes knew something was up.

"Dean listen to me. Are you high on something?"

"No Roman but you'd like that wouldn't you." Dean got up on the bench as he did the room started to spin causing Dean to fall hitting the wall hard.

"Dean are you ok?"

"Yea don't worry." Dean had no idea he busted his mouth open. Roman thought it was scary that Dean didn't feel any pain.

"Dean you need to look at yourself in the mirror."

"Oh what I'm bleeding or something? So what." Roman dragged him to the bathroom to look at his face. Dean saw the bruises and the blood. Dean turned on the water to wash of the blood. Dean started to laugh at what just happened.

"What's funny?"

"This." Dean pointed to his battered face smiling kinda scary.

"That's not funny. You have really hurt yourself."

"Don't worry I can't feel anything."

"That's not normal."

"But it's feels so good."

"Be honest with me. What did you take?"

"Nothing but of course you don't believe me."

"Will you never tell the truth about all of this?"

"There nothing to tell but you think something is up with me. It needs to stop Roman. How would you feel if I've always be fine and you were wrong"

"We both know that's not true. Why don't you trust me?"

"This has nothing to do with trust. Sometimes we want our secrets."

"Even if they could kill you."

"Yes." Dean felt the room spin putting his down as Roman looked at him.

"Something wrong?"

"I just want be alone right now please." Dean hoped that Roman would leave. When he did Dean tried to shake off the headache but it just made him feel sick. He ran to the bathroom getting really sick. Dean waned to get his drugs but when he stood up he fell to the ground. As Dean lay on the bathroom he started to nod out and fell asleep. An hour later Roman came back looking for him,

"Dean are you okay?" he found Dean passed out on bathroom floor notices that he breathing was shallow.

"Dean wakes up." Where was no answer that made Roman want to take him to the hospital? 10 minutes later Dean woke up.

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I'm fine. Gheez I can't even fall asleep now with out you worrying." As Dean walked to the bench Roman could tell that his balance was off. Dean picked up his brown box walking to the bathroom. Roman tried to stop him but Dean locked the door.

"Open the door I know what you're doing in there."

"Once again mind your fucking business. You just wanna save me. Maybe I don't wanna be saved."

"Don't talk like that."

"Why because you can't admit your losing your best friend and nothing you can do about it."

"Sometimes you can be really mean and hurtful."

"Oh because you don't wanna hear the truth. Well too bad."

"This isn't you. I can't talk to you like when you like this."

"Then bye." Dean started to laugh as he heard the locker room door slam. Dean did his drugs and soon he felt much better he also felt like getting drunk. Dean grabbed his keys as he walked to the parking lot. He drove off before anyone could see him. Dean went to a liquor store to get beer and whiskey. When Dean drove back he took his alcohol back to his locker room. Dean sat on his bench just drinking trying to erase his dark and sad thoughts. As he was drinking Dean heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

"Roman. Open up." Dean hid his alcohol while chewing gum. The taste of the gum made him felt sick but powered thought it so Roman couldn't tell he was drinking. Dean unlocked the door as Roman came in.

"Can we talk?" "No" Dean thought but he knew that wouldn't stop him.

"I guess."

"Why were acting all mean earlier?"

"I appreciate you trying to get help but I need space."

"I want but I'm afraid of what you're doing when you're alone."

"Roman I'm trying to deal with all this pain that's all."

"But you're not dealing with it that scares me. I don't know that you doing but I know it's not helping you."

"How do you know?"

"Just look at yourself Dean. You haven't acted like yourself in a long time."

"So what. Everything is fine." Roman grabbed Dean's wrist putting his face.

"You just tried to kill yourself and you call yourself fine." Dean didn't answer back he just grabbed his bag and keys ready to leave but Roman stopped him.

"Where are you going?"

"Leave me alone. You're just scared if I'm leave alone I'll do drugs or worst try to kill myself again."

"Dean stop it."

"Oh what I'm being mean or hurting your feeling. Just go. I'll do whatever I want."

"Dean if I leave you alone you really have to promise you don't try to kill or harm yourself."

"Promise Roman." Roman left Dean's locker room as Dean went to drinking. As Dean was getting drunk his phone fell out his pocket on the floor and started to play a video.

The video (Colby filming Jon)

"This is my sexy boyfriend Jonathan Good. Wave hi."

"Colby don't film me when I'm lying in bed."

"You look so cute when you wake up. I love you Jon." Colby moved closer to Jon so he could kiss him on camera.

"I love you too Colby." Jon pulled him closer soon they were making out as Colby stopped filming.

Dean started to cry as the video played again on a loop. He threw the whiskey bottle against the wall. When Dean saw a big piece of glass he picked it up. Dean pulled down his fishnet thing as he picked up the glass piece cutting up his arm. Soon he started to feel better. Dean picked up the glass again thinking sick thoughts so he just screamed.

Dean's POV

It's so hard fighting the urge to want to end it all. Everyday it gets harder and Roman doesn't make things better. He thinks it's so easy to deal with everything with out the drugs. But I can't that would kill me. I really don't care anymore, what is there to care about?

Dean get in his car driving to his hotel room when he got there Dean pocked the door unplugging the phone. As Dean was playing with his phone he opened of them together. Dean found their naughty video playing it. Instead of getting upset he got turned on. Soon the song "just the way you are" started to play and Dean lost it because it was their song. Dean decided to make a video of what he was gonna do.

"I'm about to get high to forget all this pain I'm feeling. I can't deal with all of this." Dean shot up while he cut his arm.

"Now I don't feel again don't worry this doesn't hurt. It only feels so good." Dean started to laugh at what was going on. Dean stopped recorded as he saw Colby and smiled.

"Oh Colby I'm so glad your here. I got ideas lets make a video." Dean started to record the video.

"I love you Colby. This is the man I'm gonna marry."

"Wave at the camera so everyone can see your sexy smile."

"Don't walk away. What are you nervous it's just me?" He left as video ended that made Dean sad. "Why do you always leave Colby" Dean thought


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean ad Seth finally take the step in there relationship. what will Dean when Seth gets sick in the ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs
> 
> Johnny angel by shelley fabares 
> 
> just the way you are by Pierce the Veil

It was wrestlemania Dean and Seth arrived together. Seth still had his money in back briefcase.

"Do you think you're gonna cash it in tonight?

"Maybe?" when Dean heard that Seth was the champion he wanted to scream yes but he kept his mouth shut and pretend it disappointed him. When Seth went back to his locker room Dean was waiting there for the locker the door and got talking.

"I'm so proud of you Colby. You'll be the best champ."

"Thank you baby." They stated to make out when it got heavy they stopped.

"Later I'll give you a reward."

"I can't wait." When they got home they started to have some "fun"

"Colby I want you wear nothing but your belt." Colby stripped down to nothing but his belt as Jon snapped pictures. Soon Jon got on top of Colby and they had hot sex. They also took naked pictures together.

The next night they walked the building together. Seth started raw bragging about being the new champion. One again Dean had to make look like he hated Seth and he hated him as the champ. All Dean could think about was how sexy Seth looked with the belt around his wait. When they were driving home they sated about their future.

"Baby what do think about us getting secretly married."

"I love that idea. When were you thinking this?"

"I don't know we'll pick a date later. All I know is that I wanna marry you soon."

"I agree." Colby kissed Jon pulling him closer then Jon fell asleep in his arms.

"Wake up baby we're here." Colby carried Jon to their room bedroom laying him on the bed. Before he went to sleep he whispered "goodnight baby I love you" kissing him on the lips.

A month later

Dean was gonna fight Seth along with Roman and Randy for the tile. When they were riding to Raw they started to talk about the match.

"I wouldn't mind if you beat me baby for the tile. You deserve it."

"That's so sweet but bet you'll be great out there." Before going in the building they made out in the backseat. When raw started Seth came out and ran his mouth about his title match.

"Neither Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns deserve a title shot. Well I'm better then they are anyway. "I'm also better then Randy. The crowed booed also chanting "you sold out" Seth heard Dean's theme he stood on the ramp with a mic.

"The reason you think can beat is because you have the authority making sure you win. I will beat you for your little belt."

Payback

In the middle of the match Roman, Dean and Seth came together to take out Randy. When Dean got close to Seth he felt his body get all tingly and over heated he was super horny.

Dean's POV

I'm so turned on right now. Too bad I can't take Seth right here. I hope Roman doesn't figure out what is going right now. I would love it if the shield got back together tonight. I know that wouldn't happen because we hate him.

They didn't care that they were on camera Seth took Dean by the hand pulling him close for a quick kiss.

"Did we just see Seth Rollins kiss Dean Ambrose on the lips?" Dean licked his lips smiling as Roman and Kane stood there in shock.

Seth's POV

It sucks the shield isn't getting back together. Being close to Dean I got so horny I couldn't take it anymore that when I kissed him. Wish I could've made out with him. Those sweet sexy lips they taste so good.

Seth ended up winning the match still being the champ when it happened Dean smiled at him. When Dean walked backstage when Renee came up to him wanted to get his thoughts what happened.

"Dean I want to get your take on that kiss." It felt so great I loved everyone moment of it Dean thought.

"It came out of no where and shocked me I didn't even know what to think."

"It looked like you really enjoyed it. Dean tell us the truth."

"It was good. What do you me to say I like him Renee?" When Seth walked into the authority's locker room he was met by angry Triple h.

"What fuck was that Seth?"

"I wasn't thinking I messed up. I'll take of it."

"You better take care of it. This a PG show and we're not gonna have a gay couple on it. You're lucky I don't suspend both of you." Roman and Dean started to talk about the kiss.

"I saw the way you looked at each other. Whose idea was the kiss?"

"Seth. We couldn't help it."

"That must of been some kiss by your reaction."

"You have no idea. He's the best kisser." When he said Roman looked at him in a funny way Dean wondered what that was about.

"Why you did look at me that?"

"It just was a look." The truth was Roman had a crush on Seth even thought he knew he was with Dean. Dean walked back to his locker room where Seth was waiting from him. Seth was sitting there in tight jeans down low enough he could see his cock seeing that made Dean super hard. Dean took off Seth's jeans exposing his hard cock through his underwear. Dean sat next to Seth kissing him soon they were making out. Seth put his hand in Dean's underwear rubbing him as he took of his underwear. Seth got on top of Dean feeling his cock pressing against his thigh. They got on the floor where they made sweet love. Dean jerked off Seth before put it in Seth.

"Oh Johnny baby that feels so good. Don't stop."

"I won't stop. I wanna make you moan and scream my name."

"Oh Johnny yes." Dean could feel Seth's sweat dripping over his naked body.

"I love you so much Colby. You wanna have even more fun?"

"Mmm yes." Seth pulled it out Dean got on his knees.

"You ready baby." Dean first licked it before he put his mouth on Seth cock sucking it. Dean looked at Seth who had a look of pleasure on his face. he moaned screaming Dean's name. After they were done they took a shower together.

"That was great Jon. I love the way you make me feel. I love you."

"I agree Colby. I love you too," they both got dress before walking out holding hands. When they both walked out they were getting weird looks. Roman came up to Dean pulling him aside.

"I bet that was really hot from what heard." They heard have sex and have dirty fun Dean thought

"So what." He walked laughing leaving with Seth.

The next night on raw Seth had to address the kiss when to him it was no big deal. His theme started to play Seth walked to the ring holding a mic.

"I know you all are still talking about the how I kissed Dean Ambrose last night. It was a lapse of judgment. I should have thought before doing it didn't mean anything to me and I'm sorry if I offended anyone." It hurt Seth to say that because every kiss he gave Dean meant everything to him. He hated himself that he had to lie to everything just save his job.

Seth's POV

I hate lying just because onstage wrong to kiss Dean. I feel bad saying it didn't mean anything to me. I know he understand but still. They seem like being gay is wrong. I wonder what he could do if said no and wasn't out here.

"I hate Dean Ambrose he means nothing to me. I don't care if I hurt his feelings. You hear that." 

Dean's theme started play he ran to the ring staring down Seth

"So that's your answer you hate me. I saw the way you looked at me before you kiss me." They tried real hard not to smile at each other. 

"Shut the fuck up Ambrose. You liked that if I said I like you. That will never happen. I won't be a part of sick fantasy." Seth slapped Dean across the face which led to them fighting. In the middle Seth started to sweat real bad looking pale running out of the ring. Dean followed he was worried. Is Colby okay? Jon thought. When Colby made it to his locker room he got sick. Dean knocked on the door.

"Seth are you alone?"

"Yes."

“Can I come in?"

"Yes I need you." Jon could tell something was wrong by the way Colby looked. Colby put his head on Jon’s lap.

"What’s wrong baby?"

"I have no idea I feel real sick like I'm going to throw up. I might have something. Can we go home soon?" There was a knock on the door. 

"Who is it?"

"Hunter open up." Colby whispered to Jon to hide in the bathroom so they wouldn't be caught. Seth opened the door when he stood up he felt real dizzy.

"What happened back there?"

"I don't feel well. I ran out of the ring because I was going to be sick. I'm going home.”

“You got a match tonight against Roman Reigns. I'm not canceling it." Seth ran to the bathroom staying there for 5 minutes before coming out.

"What the fuck do you want me to do get sick in the ring or make Roman sick? I'm going home and if you don't like it well." Seth passed out before finishing it. Hunter knew something was up he walked out. Dean came out he got scared seeing Seth passed out on the floor.

"Baby are you ok?" Dean didn't know what to do so he got Roman bringing him to the locker room.

"Seth is really sick. Help me."

"What happened?" 

"He was getting sick he might have a fever." Soon Colby woke up looking around confused. Roman had gone to get a thermometer. When he came back he checked his temperature.

"Its 102 baby. We’re going to go home so you can rest." Seth could barely walk so Dean picked him up carrying him to the car. Before they got to the parking lot they saw Triple H come out to the ring

“The main event is cancelled because Seth Rollins came down a bug." He looked pissed saying that.

Off stage

When they got home Jon carried Colby to the bed laying him down taking off his wrestling pants putting on sweatpants. Jon went to go but Colby grabbed his hand.

"Don’t go Johnny baby. Lie here with me."

"I won't go." Colby put his head on Jon's chest as Jon held him all night long falling asleep next to him. The next morning Jon woke up Colby was still sleeping so he let him sleep. Hours later Jon went to check on him Colby was awake. 

"Baby how do you feel?" 

"A little better. I want you to kiss me." 

"Do you think we should be doing this?" 

"Please." Colby pulled Jon close kissing and soon they were making out. They pulled out the camera filming it as they put their hands places.

Three days later off and on stage

"Should we get ready to go to Smackdown tonight?“  
"Baby are you sure you’re ready to wrestle? You don’t want you to over do it?”  
"I’m fine doing worry.“They packed up getting in the car driving to the arena. When they got there Hunter pulled Seth aside he was mad.  
“We need to talk about Monday night.”  
“What about it?”  
"When the authority tells you to do something you do it. I don’t care why you can’t do it you do it.“

"You want me to jeopardize my health to wrestle for you.” Colby walked away with Jon looked back seeing Hunter giving him an evil look.  
“You’ll pay.” When the show started Renee went up to Seth to talk about Monday.  
“What happened to you Monday night?”  
“I caught a 24 hour bug forcing me to go home.”  
“Hope you’re feeling better.”  
“I feel much better." An hour later Colby felt dizzy but he tried to kept it from Jon but that didn’t work.  
"Baby are you sure you’re okay?”  
“Don’t worry everything will be okay.” He put his head on Jon’s lap Jon knew something was up because Colby only did that when he was sick. He soon fell asleep he slept till it was time for his match. Seth got ready even though he looked out of it. Jon wanted to stop it but he stayed out of it. It seemed like something was wrong Seth held onto the ropes looking pale.

“Is Seth okay because he looks like he’s going to throw up.” Seth stumbled around the ring. Cesaro looked at him with concern.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Let’s just fight.” Seth tried real hard to stand up but the room started to spin as he felt like he was going to throw up. Seth put his hand over his eyes before passing out. When Dean saw that he screamed out no he wanted so badly to go out there. 10 minutes later Seth was helped to his locker room Dean ran in watching the medics work on him. One of the medics turn to Jon wanting to know what happened.

“How long has he been sick?”  
“He was sick for two days. I thought he was better.”  
“Did he see a doctor at all?”  
“No he just rested at home.”  
“We don’t think he had a bug. He might have virus of the flu. He shouldn’t return for a week to make sure everything is better.”

Flashback to 2014

The shield was in the ring giving a speech when Roman brushed up against Seth in a sexual manner which made Dean mad. He punched Roman in the face pushing him down Seth got in the middle.  
“What the fuck reigns. I saw what you did. Back off of Seth or you’ll be sorry.”  
“It was an accident calm down Dean we’re all friends here.”  
“Likely story just watch it.” When the show went off Roman went up to Jon to talk about the incident in the ring  
“Jon why did you act like that in the ring?”  
“I saw what you did and the way you winked at Colby. He’s mine so back off.”  
“I know that. The whole world is aware you guys are a couple. I didn’t mean anything. I would never take your man.”  
“It better stay that way. Does Colby know how you feel?”  
"You’re going to tell him. Doesn’t matter?“  
"I’m not going to say anything.” When Colby and Jon were driving they started to talk.  
“What was up with you and Joe tonight?”  
“I just didn’t like the way he was acting around you.”  
“You don’t have to worry about that. I only want you. I love you Johnny baby.”  
“I love you too baby. I don’t wanna lose you.”  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
Colby kissed Jon pulling him in close so he could hold him and drive at the same time.

 

End of flashback

3 weeks later it was money in the bank Dean and Seth have the title match 

"Good luck baby.” 

“I hope you win Johnny baby.” They went in for one last kiss before they had to get ready for their match. During the match Seth was hurting Dean’s knee he felt bad for hurting the love of his life. He tried not to cry when he saw Dean screaming pain. When they got on the ladder holding onto the belt. Dean tried not to smile because he was so happy when he found out what Seth won his match. Seth stood on the ramp next to Triple H he looked back and saw Dean who was crying and that hurt his feelings to see that. Seth went back to the locker room he saw Dean who still looks sad. 

“I’ll make you feel much better.” Colby started to kiss Jon’s neck getting on top of him. Soon he felt John’s hard cock pressing into his into his legs so he unzipped Dean’s jeans putting his hand inside rubbing Dean’s hard cock before pulling off the Dean’s jeans.

“Does that feel good?”

“To make me feel better suck my cock.” Colby got on his knees taking Jon’s cock in his hand before sucking it hard to Jon cummed in his mouth and he swallowed it.

“How did that make you feel?”

"Oh baby I love the way your tongue feels on my cock and how you make me moan.” Colby was super hard Jon started rub him through his pants and he moaned loud.

"Fuck me hard." Jon put his cock inside Colby going hard as Colby moan loud screaming out his name.

“How does that make you feel. “

"Oh Johnny baby. Don’t stop go harder.” Jon still rubbing Colby’s hard cock he cummed licking it off his dick. There knock on the door they got nervous wondering who it was.

“Who is it?”

“Triple H open the door.“ Colby wasn’t sure what to say he just wanted him to go away.”

“What do you want to talk because I’m busy right now?"

Doing what?” Having hot sex with getting pleasured Colby thought. He heard Hunter try to open up the door made him nervous.

"Why is the door locked?”

“I didn’t want to be bothered give me 5 minutes and we’ll talk.” Colby turn to John whispering to him "don’t stop.” John whispered back “I won’t baby.” They finished up taking a shower together. Before he left he kissed Jon on the lips.

“I’ll be back Johnny baby.” Seth walked into the authority’s locker room 

“I’m here let’s talk.”

“I just wanted to celebrate you destroying Dean Ambrose to retain your title.” 

Two weeks later Raw was going to be in Las Vegas. That Saturday night they got to talk about it to talk.

“How about on Monday night we get married baby?”

“I love that. It’ll be so perfect two of us finally taking the next step. We should go suit shopping.” they got in their car driving the Men’s Warehouse to pick out suits for the big day. Jon chose a black suit and Colby chose a white suit. Then they want to a jewelry store to pick out wedding bands. They wanted them to be engraved but their names of the day they got married. 

June 1st 2015

It was the big day they walked into the arena so happy. Roman wanted to know why they were so happy so he what up to them.

"Is something going on because you seem happier than usual.” Colby whispered to Jon “should we tell him the truth.” Jon whispered back “I’m not sure.”

“We’re planning something big tonight.” Before the show went off they were going to sneak off at 10pm. Colby went off to make a special phone call for a limo to meet them there at 10:30. When it was time to leave they didn't change their clothes. When Jon saw the limo he smiled they both got in the limo changing their clothes. They went to the first chapel they saw. After tonight everything was going to be better. Colby put on the song just the way you are by Pierce the Veil on his iPod. He stood there he saw Jon walked down the aisle. They smiled at each other Colby was lost in Jon’s blue eyes. Jon and Colby joined hands and look into each others eyes the ceremony began. 

“We are gathered here today to join Jonathan Good and Colby Lopez in marriage." They whispered I love you to each other before the vows.

"Jonathan do you take Colby to have and to hold in sickness and in health till death do us part.”

“I do.”

“Colby do you take Jonathan to be your husband to have and to hold in sickness and in health till death do us part.”

“I do.”

“You may now kiss your husband.” Jon pulled in Colby close kissing him long and slow. Both of the rings had Jonathon Good + Colby Lopez June 1st 2015 4eva engraved on them. They videotaped the whole thing putting the vows part on Instagram. They went back to the hotel room ordered some food. After that Colby turn on the video camera pointing up Jon 

"Johnny baby lets have sex as we video tape the whole thing.”

“I love that baby.” They had hot sex while doing dirty things the video lasted for 20 minutes long. The next day Jon went to legally change his name to Colby’s last name. After that he was now Jonathan Lopez that made him happy to have his husband’s last name.

“Baby it’s official I’m Jon Lopez. That means we are now Mr. and Mr. Lopez. All my dreams are finally reality. I love you Colby.”

“I love you too John.” Jon pulled out his phone taking a picture with Kobe putting it on Facebook and Instagram with the caption we are Mr. and Mr. Lopez now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happened when Jon so desperate to feel better he over does it almost dying. what happens when a friend tries so hard to help him but just get yelled it for it. when part of that night is remembered what will it mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> sometimes by melanie horsnell  
> my skin by natalie by merchant

Jon woke up face down his bed he reached out for Colby.

“Baby where did you go?” He realized he was gone then went looking his drugs but he was empty. Jon started to feel real sick his whole body was shaking. He felt like he was gonna throw up then he got sick mostly of blood. When he was done he called his dealer to send something much stronger. He didn’t care what it was he was just desperate to feel better. He was given heroin and meth. When he got home he shot up and felt better. He realized it was raw so he packed up everything up and just threw on what he had on last night. When he walked in everyone looked at him because it freezing out and he was Jon has on a tank top with a leather jacket. Randy went up to Jon when got closer he could tell he was sick.

“Are you ok Jon?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“It's 28 degrees out there and barely have anything on and you're not cold.” Jon went to walk away but tripped like he balance was off. Jon felt the room spin running to his locker room. He started to feel sick sweating a lot. Before he would run to the bathroom he passed. 20 minutes later Jon woke up he raw Roman standing over him oh fuck he thought to himself. 

“Jon are you ok?”

“Fine but you’ll tell me I’m not.” 

“I walked in you were lying on the ground passed out. How is that fine?”

“So I took a nap but you’re not gonna believe that.” 

“Why do lie to me. What are you afraid of? I’m not gonna tell anyone.” 

“Bullshit. You wanna help me so bad you would tell someone if that means that were would be better.” He felt like was gonna be sick any moment so he ran to the bathroom. He got sick for awhile some of it was blood.

“Jon are ok in there.” Roman walked into the bathroom were Jon with blood on his lips which  
worried him.

“Why is there blood on your lips?”

“I cut my lip.” 

“Did you throw up blood?”

“No. I just got a little sick that’s all.” 

“Once again that’s not normal. What you gonna do wait till I leave and do drugs?”

“It doesn’t seem like you about. So just fucking leave. I don’t need you.” 

“You know I care about you. Please don’t do something stupid just to feel better.” 

“I wish people would leave me alone and stop caring.”

“You don’t mean that.” 

“I already lost the only one that matter. I have nothing now.” 

“You’ll always have me." Jon didn't respond to him he just go up to leave grabbing his box. Jon went to his car where he shot up twice. 5 minutes later he walked in he walked past Roman he knew something was wrong. When he got to the locker he felt like he was could barely breathe. When Roman walked in he looked at Jon he didn’t look right.

“Jon are you ok?” There was no answer but when he got closer he heard Jon shallow breathing. Soon Jon passed out a minute later he started to make choking noises. Roman knew he had to get to him the hospital. He picked him up carrying him to the car. He rushed him to the hospital when they got the he rushed him in.

“My friend needs help. I think he’s having an overdose.” 

“On what?”

“I don’t know. Please get him help.” They took him back working on him. Roman was scared of what was gonna happen. 20 minutes later the doctor came in the waiting room going up to Roman.

“Your friend is fine. He had a heroin overdose. Did you know he was using?”

“Yeah but didn’t know what. Can I see him?”

“Sure.” Roman walked in his room he Jon hooked up to machines he sat next to him.

“I know your secret. Why didn’t you tell you were using. You could’ve died.” Roman stayed with Jon the whole night. Jon woke up he started to pull the IV’s out of his arms when Roman stopped him.

“What are you doing?”

“Get the hell out of here.” 

‘Last night you almost died.” Soon the doctor came in checking everything out.

“How are you feeling Mr. Lopez?” When the doctor said that Roman looked confused.

“Fine. I wanna go home.”The doctor noticed Jon was sweating really badly so he checked his temperature it was 105.

“You have a fever. We want to keep you here for a couple days.” 

“I feel fine. “ Jon started to feel really sick he held it in till the doctor left. Jon ran to the bathroom getting sick. He knew that drugs would make him feel better. Roman came out the door the talk.

“Please say do it for me. Why did the doctor say your last name is Lopez?”

“I married Colby taking his last name.” Jon looked like he was gonna cry but he broke a piece of the mirror. Jon pulled up his fishnet arm things taking the glass cutting his arm a couple of times. Roman watched he could believe what he saw. He watched Jon pull it over his arm not even caring he was still bleeding.

“You can’t tell anyone what you saw.” 

“You need help. It could be better to talk about your feeling.” 

“Promise me Joe you won’t tell anyone.” Roman didn’t know what to say to him but saw the desperation in his eyes.

“I guess promise.”He felt bad to promise that. The doctor came in by that time he was back in bad. The doctor looked Jon like he was worried.

“We weighted you and you’re very underweight.” You need to get your weight up. You should eat something.” Just the mention of food made Jon wanna be sick. When Roman fell asleep Jon got dressed leaving the hospital taking a cab back to the arena. When he got there he got in his car and shot up feeling much better. 20 minutes his phone went off it was Roman.

“Hi Roman.” 

“You need to get back to hospital.” 

“I feel much better now. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because the doctor said you're not. Please get the help you need.”

“You want me to be clean and then you think everything will be ok. Everything will be ok. Maybe I don't wanna be helped but you never wanna see that.” 

“Jon are you on the drugs?”

“Everything would easy if you give up on me.” 

“I know you don’t mean that.” 

“Keep thinking that Roman but one day you'll realize that's true.” 

“So I should’ve let you die last night?”

“You could’ve have done if I told you too.” 

“You’re sick and mean Jon.” Jon heard the sadness in Roman’s voice but he laughed till Roman hung up.  
Soon after he got a text from Roman

All you care about is yourself and you care how your actions affect the one around you. I don’t know what did do I’d if you died but you don’t care about my feels. You know you always be my brother I love you Jon

 

Jon turned off his phone threw it on the seat next to him and Jon drove him. While he was driving home he was listening to the radio. The song just the way you were came on and he started to cry. He hated this feeling and at that moment he felt everything. I can’t fucking handle all this and can’t deal anymore Jon thought to himself. When Jon to home he rushed to the bathroom locking the door. He pressed the blade to his arm cutting up his arm watching the blood hit the floor. He started to have dark thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. Jon ignored it hoping it would go away but he heard the door open.

“Jon its Roman we need to talk.” Why can’t he leave me alone Jon thought. Roman walked around looking for Jon he noticed the bathroom door was closed he knocked on the door.

“Jon I know you're in here. Please come out so we can talk.” Jon open the door Roman came in sitting the floor next to him.

“What do you wanna talk about?”

“Jon you're really sick and need to go back to the hospital.” 

“I’m fine. I just want to be left alone.” 

“You always want to be alone but you're alone it leads to bad things. Why wouldn’t get the help? What are afraid of?”

“First off I’m fucking fine. How do you know things will better because it won’t?” 

“How do you know that?”

“Just because your life is perfect doesn’t mean mine will.” 

“Do you think or want to kill yourself?” yes all the time Jon thought to himself.

“Why so your have a reason to put in the hospital and make sure I can’t leave. Will I’m not answering you. Please leave I’m done talking to you.” 

“Please let me help you.“

“No. I know how you gonna do that and I’m not getting you. Get the fuck out or I’ll make you  
leave.” Jon saw the hurt in Roman’s eyes as he walked away out the door. Roman leaned against the door and just cried before driving off.

 

Jon woke up to the sound of his phone it was Roman what does he fucking want now Jon thought.

“I just told you leave me alone but of course you're gonna call me.” 

“Jon that was 2 day ago. Where are you? It’s time for Smackdown.” 

“I’ll be there.” Jon just packed up his drugs and razors getting in his car. When he was driving he started to feel real sick but put it out his mind. When he got there everyone looked at him in  
shock like there was something really wrong with him. Jon couldn't take the sick feeling running to his locker room. Before he could make to the bathroom he threw up most of it was blood but he didn’t care he just shot up. He cleaned it all up before Roman could see. Roman walked into his locker room he looked worried.

“Jon what happened to you?”

“I’m fine.” 

“What did you do go on a drug binge and blackout?”

“I don’t have to answer you. Why are here anyway?” 

“I was worried about you.” 

“No shit. One again I’m fine but I know you’ll never believe me.” 

“Because I know you're truly not and I wish you could see that.” 

“Haven’t you figured out yet I don’t care. What did I hurt your feeling?”

“Why you gotta be so mean? One day you won’t be able to hid all secret then what?”

“Oh you’d love that so I’d get help. I’m not trying to mean. I don’t want to be helped and I want you see that.” Roman looked like he wanted to cry looking at him like why.

“Haven’t you figured it out that I don’t want to watch my best friend die?” Jon got up feeling really dizzy and fell down then zoned out.

 

“Stop saying you always be that for me when you always disappearing. Do I mean anything to you?”

 

“You gave me a fucking ring and asked you to marry me and you said yes. We got fucking married Colby but that does mean anything.” Roman just watched the whole thing not sure what to think or do he was just weirded out to see Jon act like that.

 

“Of course you leave again. Roman where did Colby go?” Roman just looked at him not sure what he would say. He saw the hurt in his eyes like was heartbroken.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see where he went. It’ll be ok.” Roman watched pull out a blade and cut his arm. Jon just stood there watching himself bleed smiling like everything felt so much better.

“Jon are you ok?”

“Why would say that?” 

“You were acting all weird.” Jon looked at Roman like he had no idea what he was talking about.

“I don’t remember. But I’m fine let’s leave it that. Roman walked away which Jon made happy. Jon got up to go to the bathroom but got dizzy. When he fell down he hit his head bad but didn’t feel anything. 30 minutes Jon started have a splitting headache and feel sick so he just shot up soon he couldn’t feel anything. In his high state he had flashback to that night

 

An hour before raw Jon was feeling like he had a bug but still wanted to go to raw.

“Johnny baby don't you think you should stay hope you look awful.” 

“I don’t want to be apart from you. I love you baby.” 

“I love you too Johnny baby.” Jon was able to make to raw when they got Jon fell asleep. He woke to Colby yelling so he stood watching it he saw Roman and him kiss. Jon was in shock he started to cry Colby saw him going up to him.

“It’s not what you think Johnny baby. It was Roman’s fault I promise.” Jon did know what to say but before he could say anything he ran to the bathroom. After getting sick he went to Colby he was still crying.

“Baby why did he kiss you?”

“I don’t know it just happened. He wants me I could see it in his eyes. It made me sick. Don’t cry Johnny baby.” Colby put his arms around Jon holding him tight till he stopped crying. Colby saw Roman standing there in the doorway.

“What the fuck do you want? I’m with Jon but you see that.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Bullshit. I saw the look in your eyes when it happened.” When Hunter saw the fighting he put them in a match. When it was main event time the match got ugly real fast. The fans were hoping Dean was gonna be in Roman’s corner. Seth won the match but at the end he wanted to kill roman and tried before the refs held him down. At the end of the show Colby helped Jon out of building and into the car.

“Johnny baby I wanna get drunk and forget this night. You up for it.” 

“Let’s do it. I wanna forget it too.” Colby stopped at a local liquor store to get some beers before going home.

 

End of flashback

 

Jon felt sick at what he was remembering and wanted to scream. He picked up a razor blade having dark thoughts not sure what do. “I’m so sorry Colby.” Jon whispered to himself


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon get sicker and is afraid now that all his secrets will come out. what happens when everything he tried to hide falls apart and he force to deal with everything in the hospital and talk about his feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> sometimes by melanie horsnell

Instead of crying Jon dragged the razor blade across his arm deeply watching the bleed. He had to get ready for match before he walked out he felt really sick. He tried not to think about it but he got sick all over himself. He took off shirt when he walked out everyone just stared at him. When Jon walked down the ramp the looked in shock of he looked. The match barely 5 minutes it looked like he could barely stand on his own. After the match Hunter called him into his office.  
“Dean we need to talk about your health. I saw the way you looked out that you looked so sickly. Is there something wrong with you?”  
“No I’m fine. I just had off night.”  
“We believe something is wrong with you. So on Monday we gonna find out. We need to get your true weight.”  
“I had the flu a week ago I couldn’t eat so I lost some weight but I’m fine.”  
“You can’t wrestle till you do these tests.” Before Jon went home he brought a scale to see how  
much he really weighted. When he got home he stepped on the scaled it said 100 pounds Jon was in shock he didn’t really care. Jon decided to eat for the first time in awhile to see what would happen. He got in his car and drove to McDonald’s he just ordered fries. The smell of them was making him nauseous but he ate some. While he was driving he felt so sick so he had to pull the over so he could get sick. It lasted for awhile all he to lie down afterwards. When he got home Jon just passed out when he woke Roman was standing over him.  
“Are you ok?”  
“Again with this shit. I’m fine. I don’t get to go to sleep now without thinking something is wrong.”  
“I noticed you were bleeding from your mouth.” Jon touched his mouth he got blood on his hand.  
“I must of bit my lip in my sleep.” Jon took his box going into the bathroom locking the door  
before Roman could see. He shot up the different drugs. He could hear Roman banging on the door.  
“Open the door. What are doing in there?” Everything was now blur Jon just sat on the bathroom floor zoning out.  
“Are you getting high in there?”  
“Everything is fine. Just having some alone time. You need stop thinking everything is wrong. I don’t like it that you just come in my house unannounced can I have one place where I can get away from everything.”  
“Sorry but after last night I was worried about you. I saw the way you looked during the match it was scary. You’re really sick and I wouldn’t lie to you.”  
“How many times do I have say this I feel fine. But of course you ever take my word for it.”  
“You gonna slowly kill yourself all to escape this pain?” Jon didn’t answer that he just ignored him  
“I’ll always care and be there for you.”  
“Bullshit.” You’re the reason my life is all fucked up.”  
“How the fuck can you say that?”  
“If it wasn’t for kissing Colby that night. He wouldn’t want to drink and I wouldn't have done it either. So how dare say you're here for me.” Roman didn’t how to answer that he tried to remember it.

Flashback

“Stop fucking hitting on me. I’m with Jon were married and that won’t change. I know you have a crush on me but you taking it to a new level.”  
“Maybe if Jon doesn’t mind we can all be together. I love you Colby.” Colby went to walk away but Roman pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed Colby right in front of Jon giving him a dirty look.

End of flashback

“What you couldn’t tell me the truth. It’s fucked up how you pretend to my friend and brother then you fuck my life. You never cared enough to make things right. I fucking hate you.” Jon could hear Roman crying but he didn’t care.  
“Sorry. Yes I did some fucked stuff. You know I would never hurt you. I didn’t know all this would happen.”  
“Just get out. I don’t care.” Jon the heard the door slam when he sure he left he came out the  
bathroom. He felt like crying so he cut his arm that seemed to work. By Monday he hadn't heard from Roman which he had liked. Before he drove to Raw he brought 2 30 pound weights, duct tape and a thermometer. When he got there he taped one weight to each leg. he also checked to if he had a fever it was 103. He had to get down before he walked in. he put a cold compress on his forehead some cold water in his ear. When he walked inside Hunter was waiting for him. They walked to a special medic station.  
“First we gonna weight you then check if you have fever or any sickness.” Jon was nervous when he stepped on the scale. He hoped everything would work out.  
“He’s 160 pounds.”  
“You looked skinnier than that.” Next they checked his temperature.  
“His temperature is normal. He seems healthy.” Jon started to feel really sick. Oh shit Jon thought. He hoped he could hold it in till he was alone.  
“Mr. Good you started to look a little pale. Are you feeling ok?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“Jon tell us the truth. Do you starve yourself?”  
“Now why would I do that?”  
“When was the last time you ate something.”  
“I stopped by a fast food place before coming here.”  
“I guess you’re healthy enough to wrestler. But I’ll be coming keeping my eye on you.” When he got the locker he took his either changing to jeans and another shirt. By this time he couldn’t hold it anymore running to the bathroom getting sick which lasted for 10 minutes. Afterwards Jon shot up feeling much better. He heard a knock on the door great its Roman Jon thought.  
“Who is it?”  
“Hunter.”  
“What you want?” He came into holding a sandwich and something to drink.  
“I want to sure you're eating. I want you to eat this in front of me.” he eat the whole thing right in front of him and right away he felt like he gonna be sick but had hold it in.  
“See I ate it now can I be alone.”  
“I’m gonna have to stay here for 5 more minutes.”  
“What are you afraid I’m gonna throw it up when you leave?”  
“We just have make sure you're not making yourself sick. We just want to know why you lost so much weight.” Jon started to feel really dizzy and was about to throw up. He sat on the bench putting head in between his legs.  
“Are you ok?”  
“I’m fine just tired that it.” 5 minutes later he left just has he got sick and passed out shortly after. When he woke he was in daze looking at someone standing over him.  
“Colby is that. I need you.’  
“Jon are you ok?"  
“I’m not sure baby.”  
A minute later he realized it was Roman he wanted to run to the bathroom but could barely move.  
“It’s Roman what’s wrong.”  
“I’m.” Jon passed out he looked so out of it. He picked him up carrying him the car. When Roman came back in to pick up Jon’s things Hunter stopped him.  
“By honest with me is Dean really ok.” Roman so badly wanted to tell the truth but couldn’t.  
“Yeah he’s still feeling the effects of the flu. He never meant to worry people.” While they were driving to the hospital Roman noticed Jon’s shallow breathing. He was really worried about him. When he got there he rushed Jon in he had a worried look on his face.  
“My friend needs help. He's having problems breathing.”  
“His name.”  
“Jonathan Lopez. I’m sure all that wrong with him. He's on drugs.” They gave Jon stuff to get rid of the drugs. Two hours later the doctor came out to talk to Roman.  
“It was caused by his low weight. We had to put a feeding tube in him. His body couldn’t handle all the strain anymore. You can see him.” Jon had a oxygen mask on him he saw the tube and he looked so sick. The next day Jon woke up he couldn’t he was strapped to the bed he was pissed.  
“How come I can’t move?”  
“Because you tried to leave and take everything out. Jon you're staying here for awhile. We also afraid you could harm yourself we saw your arm”  
“You made them do this. What the fuck Roman?”  
“You’re really sick Jon. You passed because your of how skinny you are.” Jon noticed the tube in his nose he couldn't pull it out.  
“What the fuck is in my nose.”  
“They had to put a feeding tube in you so you can gain weight. Why did you starve yourself?”  
“I don’t have a fucking eating disorder. If I could do you think could eat.” The doctor came looking a Jon with a look.  
“Mr. Lopez it looks like you calmed down. You have stay here till you gain weight. Sorry we’re not gonna let you out the restraints. We also found you were on 3 different drugs. After you leave we want you go to rehab.”  
“I just had a bad day so I got high. It’s not like it’s an everyday thing.” Roman looked shocked and wanted to say that was a lie.

3 days later

Roman showed up to Smackdown when he did Hunter called him to his office.  
“Roman where’s Dean?”  
“He had flu complications. He tried to make it.”  
“How long will he be out?”  
“I’m not sure. But when he knows he’ll call you.”  
“Roman I know you're his best friend and you’d tell me if something was really wrong with him?”  
“Of course.” When he went to his locker Roman saw that Randy was there waiting for him.  
“Jon is in the hospital right?”  
“How do you know?”  
“The way he looked something was really up. What is wrong with him?”  
“You should let him tell you. I don’t want to tell his business.”  
“He wouldn’t tell me the truth. Hope he getting the help he desperately needs.” Jon sat in the hospital having to deal with his feelings and thoughts. Jon fell asleep dreaming about Colby.

The dream

“Baby I’m sorry please don’t go.”  
“Just need to clear my head.”  
“Promise you’ll come back.”  
“Promise.” Colby kissed Jon on last time before leaving. When Jon when was tired Colby wasn’t  
back so he called him phone.  
“Baby it’s 3 am where are you? I love you baby.” Jon fell asleep alone it felt weird. When he  
woke up he saw him lying next him. He picked up his phone talking a pic of him.  
Colby woke up smiling at Jon kissing him.  
“Sorry I got in after you were asleep.”  
“I’m glad your back.”  
“Of course. I’ll never leave you Johnny baby.”

Dream over

Jon woke up sweating and screaming he looked around the room.  
“Colby where are you? I need you baby.” Everything kicked in and Jon knew the truth. His heart started to break and he felt like crying. Jon tried to get up but forget he was tied to the bed. He couldn’t hold in anymore and cried for the first time in an over a year. The doctor came in shortly after looking at him.  
“We noticed that you were screaming in your sleep. Why do you do that?”  
“Nightmares. I don't wanna talk about it.”  
“Something is really bothering you. We gonna have you talk to a therapist before can leave. How do you feel today?”  
“Feeling better. I would like I could have my hands free.”  
“Mr. Lopez we know about the self harming so we not gonna take them off. We afraid if we let you free you would harm yourself.” Fuck they know all my tricks and have me figured. I can’t handle these feelings Jon thought

Jon’s POV

3 days later I’m forced to be in the hospital. I know Roman made them do this. I know I was sick but didn’t care. But of course Roman was there to save me. Now I really have to deal with all of this because I can’t fucking shut up and numb all the pain. I bet now Hunter knows how sick I am too. This so fucked up.

An hour later a lady came into his room sitting on the chair next to him. She had notepad with her.  
“Mr. Lopez. I’m Dr. Johnston I’m here so we can talk about what is bothering you.”  
“I’m not in the mood for talking.” She was staring at him that made nervous.  
“I see you’re married where's your wife? She said he left like crying holding the ring.  
“Umm my husband was killed in a car accident.”  
“Is that why you did drugs, self harmed and stopped eating?”  
“I don’t want to talk about it.”  
“I know it’s hard when you someone else but you have to face it in order to get better.”  
“It’s not that easy.”  
“How come?”  
“It was all my fault he was killed. So I can’t get over it.”  
“Let’s talk about that.”  
“Look I really don’t wanna talk about. Why do I need talk about it?”  
“Because you're doing self harm to yourself and that means you're holding something in you don’t  
wanna feel.”  
“What are afraid I’ll get out of the hospital and harm myself or worst?  
“Yes we wanna help you. Did you first cut the day he died?”  
“So what I did it’s not like I tried to kill myself.”  
“It’s not healthy and I know you know that too. Why won’t talk about your feelings and what happened?”  
“It happened which changed my life. Talking about it won’t change anything and I don't want relive  
that night.” The doctor to could see Jon was about to cry.  
“Maybe if we hadn't had the fight and I didn't kick him out he would here. I don't know he wouldn’t  
come home.”  
“He could’ve been coming home when he had the accident. It seems like it wasn’t your fault. Sometimes accidents happy that you can’t change. You can’t keep blaming yourself.”  
‘I understand. Can we stop for today? I’ve had enough.”  
“Sure we can talk tomorrow.” He lay there thinking about everything she said to him. 15 minutes after she left Roman showed up but Jon wanted to be alone.  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Much better. I hate being there.”  
“I know. You know I had nothing to do with you being restrained. The doctor did that after he saw your arm.”  
“But I know you like see like this.”  
“Why would you say that?”  
“Oh come on Roman because I can’t leave and I’m forced to get help.”  
“So you don’t care that you're getting better. Wouldn’t like it so you can go on with your life?”  
“What life I don’t wanna go on because I got nothing? I can’t live here without Colby in it. But you’ll  
never get it.”  
“Do you ever think maybe he would want you life you’re live and wouldn’t want you to give up.”  
“You wouldn’t understand. If you came here to talk to me like this you can go. I don’t want to hear it.”  
“Sorry I just hate seeing you close to dying because you're my best friend. You don’t even care how I feel.” Roman had tears in his eyes as he got up and left but Jon didn’t say a word. He was able to use the phone to his old friend Sami.  
“I need your help.”  
“What is it?”  
“Just come to the  
hospital I’ll explain later.” When Sami showed up he looked at Jon wonder what was going on.  
“What happened?”  
“Lost weight from drugs passed out my friend brought here. They put a feeding tube in me and tried me down so I won’t hurt myself. I need to untied me and keep watch.”  
“Sure. Been where you are. Let me guess they want to get off of drugs to have a better life. Luckily for me I stay away from people like that.” For the first time in a while he was able to get up and walk around by himself.  
“You got your switchblade on you?”  
“Of course.”  
“Give it to me.” Sami watched Jon cut his arm up he stood smiling and felt much better. Jon teared up part of the sheet trying on the cut. Jon wanted to get high but was afraid being found out Jon noticed the doctor was coming so he jumped in bed as Sami tied him back up.  
“See you’re my true friend. You’re trying to help me in the other way.”  
‘if you don’t wanna be helped then I’ll leave you alone I’ll help you the “good” way.”  
“Do you still wrestle?”  
“No but who cares anymore. You’re still wrestling when you on drugs how come?”  
“They don’t know I’m on drugs. They think I starve myself.” The two laughed for awhile Jon felt happy and forget about his pain. Before the doctor came in Sami left he didn't want to be found out. The next morning Roman showed back up he noticed something was wrong with Jon’s arm.  
“Jon what’s wrong with your arm?”  
“I’m fine. Roman went to up him pulling off the cover he saw the deep cut.  
“How did you cut your arm because you were tied down?”  
“None of your business.”  
“I can go get the doctor and you explain it to him.”  
“A friend helped me out.  
"You can’t tell anyone.”  
“You supposed be getting better. You think no one will notice it. Jon didn’t say anything he just rolled his eyes at him.  
“Someone I think you want to hurt me or do things just to see my reaction.”  
“Like I really care what you think and this is all about you. Gheez Roman this had nothing to do with you. The only thing regarding you is why I’m still here. Don’t come back here and I mean it. You call your best friend but you don’t act like it.”  
Roman started to cry he looked Jon in his eyes.  
“I know you can't see this but I do care about you. You shouldn’t push me away because one day you're gonna need me.”  
“Keep thinking that Roman.” 2 hours after Roman left the therapist showed up.

“How are we today Jonathan?”  
“It’s Jon and I’m good.”  
“What you wanna talk about today?”  
‘I need to get out of here.”  
“Why is that?”  
“Because I don’t need to be here.”  
“But when you were brought in here passed out do to malnutrition and you won't breathing good. They had to put a feeding tube what do think would’ve happened if you won’t here?”  
“I would’ve found a way to get better. Everyone thinks I’m really sick but I’m not.”  
“Why can’t to you see the truth. Maybe you don’t wanna to get better and what why you say all of this?”  
“If I say I won’t do anything to harm myself in anyway then been done here.”  
“Then what happened to your arm?”  
“Hit it in the shower.”  
“Show it me?”  
“No. I don’t wanna harm myself anymore.”  
“I don’t think you mean it why are you afraid to tell people the truth.” Jon did answer her back he  
just lay there after awhile she left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon falls for his old friend but is it real love and do they really care about each other. when things go wrong will they stick together or will get the help they need. when things go really bad is Jon is ready to maybe force to deal with another lose. when everything falls parts Jon is force is turn to a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> full of a grace by Sarah Mclachlan

chapter songs

full of a grace by Sarah Mclachlan

 

3 months later

 

Jon was able to get to a healthier 190 pounds they took out the feeding tube. He was able to go home that night he called Sami.

“I can go home and we can have fun come at 9am.” 

“I’ll be there.” After he hung up the phone Roman came by for last visit.

“I’m glad you’re getting better. When do want me to come and take you home?” 

“1pm.” 

“I’ll be there.” The next morning Sami showed up to take him home before they went to have some fun  
Jon had clear things up with Hunter. He showed up to the office to talk to him.

“What happened to you Dean?"

“Sorry I had flu complications. I was wondering if I could have 6 months off for a vacation.” 

“Sure.” Sami drove to back to the hotel room when they got there they got super high. When it was 1 pm Roman showed up at the hospital to pick up Jon but he wasn’t there so he went to a nurse confused.

“Where’s Jon?”

“Mr. Lopez left in the morning with his brother.” Roman called up Jon’s phone but just a weird message: the person you're trying to reach either has disconnected the phone or is unavailable so please check the number and try again. When he heard that it made worried about what he was doing.

 

Back at the hotel room they were both still high having fun. Jon turned to Sami smiling at him.

“Thank you for being there for me. You’re my true friend.” 

“Anytime. That’s what real friends do.” The two were sitting real close when Sami kissed him.

“What was that?”

“You didn’t like it?”

“Don’t stop.” The two were making out it had been awhile since Jon felt love. They ended up passing out together. The next day Roman tried to get Jon but go the same message so he sent a text but got an error message please let him be ok and he finally shut me out Roman thought. A week later they didn’t leave the hotel room all they did was get high and drunk. Jon stopped cutting but he was too numb to feel anything but Sami.

“Babe tell me something.” 

“Anything.”

“Why the drugs?”

“Bad wrestling injury. It started with pain pills and then the hard stuff. This is so perfect.” 

“Agree. I got you and drugs everything I could want.” 

“I wonder what your nosey friend is doing knowing he can’t find you.” The two started to laugh hard for awhile.  
“Probably crying well too bad. Promise we can stay like this forever because I don’t want this feeling to end.” 

“It won’t promise.” Jon on Sami lap they were making out he could feel that Sami was hard soon they were naked on the couch as Sami took Jon right there it felt good.

“I love you Moxley.” 

“I love you too Sami.” It was raw Roman showed up he was hoping someone heard from Jon. by the look on his face Randy know something was wrong.” 

“What’s wrong?”

“Jon disappeared. I tried to call his phone but it’s shut off.” 

“I thought he was in the hospital.” 

“He was discharged last week. I went to pick him up and they said his brother picked him but he doesn’t have a brother.” 

“Maybe Hunter knows. I don’t think he would take off without telling him.” Roman walked into Hunter’s office he was nervous.

“I was wondering if we could talk?”

“About what?”

“Have you heard from Dean because I can’t reach him?” 

“He asked me if he could have a 6 month vacation I said yes. That’s all I know.” Roman thought about the friend who Jon said helped but who?

 

Sami and Jon were making out while touching each other when Jon looked over at the door he got freaked out moving over he looked scared.

“Babe what’s wrong? Why did you stop?”

“I saw Colby. Why is he here?”

“Maybe he wants to see if you’re happy. Come back over here and don’t worry.” Jon got back on his lap kissing him more. After Jon shot more to feel really numb he felt the room spin when he got up he fell in Sami’s arms

“Wow that a good feeling and I don't feel anything. Take me right here.” Sami pulled off Jon’s jeans and underwear getting on his knees to pleasure him. He started to lick him as Jon moaned loud before going it tasted so good. When he was doing that Jon was rubbing Sami thought his jeans.

“Oh Sami don’t stop it feels so good. Oh Sami.” They had dirty fun for the rest of the night before passing out. The next morning Sami turned to Jon waking him up.

“Babe you want me to get food?” 

“I’m not hungry.” Jon felt like he wanted to throw up. Sami tried to but felt too dizzy to stand up.

“I guess I can’t leave. I can’t stand up and the dizziness is making me feel so sick. I can’t drive. “  
“There’s no reason to leave because you have me. “

“I agree. I’ll try later but who really cares. Are you ok? You look sick.”

“I feel kinda sick but after I shoot up I’ll feel better.” He held Jon his arms helping he shot up. Later Sami got up grabbing his keys walking out but he fell down the stairs. He was bleeding he could see people staring at him but Sami just crawled back up slamming the door.

“OMG you're bleeding what happened?”

“I went to leave and fell down the stairs. Don’t worry I don’t feel anything.” When he put his right arm around Jon he felt weird but didn’t do anything about it. The next day it got worse Jon knew something was wrong.

“I think you hurt your arm. It’s look real bad.” 

“Oh shit does this means the hospital?”

“Maybe we can call someone to help us right here.” They called an old wrestling medic who put his arm in a cast.

“You’re so smart and there was for.” 

“Thank you and of course. You wanna have some fun?”

“Oh yeah.” They got high and drunk before going to in the bedroom for some hot sex.

“I love you Moxley and I’ll always be there for you.” 

“I love you too Sami and I‘ll always be there for you too.” After sex Jon felt weird like he couldn’t breathe but figured it would go away.

“I’m starting not to feel well.” Jon crawled into Sami’s arms as he was lying there he saw Colby again.

 

“Why are being like that? What you hate the fact that with someone else?”

 

“This doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Sorry I turned to someone but don’t make feel guilty.” Sami looked around trying to figure out who Jon was talking to.

“Who are you talking to?”

“I see Colby but you think I’m crazy.” 

“No I believe you.” Jon shot up feeling all weird in a bed way before passing out. When he woke up he was in a haze not knowing what was going on.

“Colby please don’t go I’m so sorry.” 

“Jon it's Sami are you ok?”

“Where am I?”

“In the hotel room remember?” Jon got up he smiled at Sami before kissing him. Jon pulled his phone to take a pic of them together.

“We look so perfect together. I’m glad I found you again.” 

“I agree. This time we ain't gonna be separated.” 

“Sami promise you won’t go away. “

“Promise. You’re my one and only. I know what happened but this time it’ll go your way.” Sami kissed Jon pulling Jon on the floor they started to make out which lead to hot sex. Afterwards Jon decided to watch Smackdown people were talking about him like he was sick or died. He started to laugh at the idea.

“What’s so funny?”

“They think I’m fucking dead. I bet all of this making Roman all sad because it’s his worst nightmare.” Sami started to laugh with him they too just laughed for awhile.

“The last time I check they think I’m dead but at least they can’t find you.” 

“If people think then we only have each other. You the only one that matters. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sami went to get up but fell everything was blurry.

“Jon I feel righ.” He was slurring so bad it took Jon time to figure out what was wrong.

“Baby speak clearly. Did you say you don’t feel well?” Sami nodded his head but that made things worst. Jon grabbed Sami moving to the bed he felt so cold even though he was sweating.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I have a fever and it making me dizzy don't worry I’ll be fine. I just need to rest.” Sami fell asleep all night long but didn’t feel any better the next day. He managed to see straight to fill a needle with drugs before he couldn't take anymore.

“Baby can you help me shot up?” When it clicked in everything felt so good. He got on Jon’s lap making with him that lasted for awhile.

 

2 months later

 

Jon lost a lot of weight he looked sick but Sami didn’t see that. One night they were both high when Sami turned to Jon he was smiling.

“I got an idea.” 

“What is it?”

“We should get married. I love you Moxley.” 

“I love you too Sami. I’m not sure about that.” Jon looked like he was gonna cry Sami wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m sorry baby I brought it up. We can do it when you're ready. I have you and that all matters.” 

“It’s ok. I feel the same way too. I love you too.” 

 

Jon’s POV

 

Sami asked me to marry him. A part of me wanted to say yes and do it but a bigger part can’t because of Colby. I love Sami with all my heart he makes so happy. Would Colby be ok with that? I don’t wanna give up on Colby and me relationship. Is it time to move on and be happy?

 

Jon got on top of Sami started to make up. Sami pushed him on the bed pulling of Jon’s clothes they had hot sex.

“That was amazing Moxley you're amazing. I’m so glad finally have you. I’m never let you go.” 

“I feel the same way too. They got high lying in the bed together. A week later when Jon was asleep Sami went out he wanted to get something special for the two of them. He got two promise rings and had them say Sami n Moxley 4eva engraved on them. When he got home Jon was waiting for him.

“Where did you go baby?”

“I got a special for you.” Sami handed Jon a small box he opened he saw the ring he smiled at Sami.

”OMG baby I love it and I love you.” 

“It’s a promise ring. No matter what happens you’ll always have me. I love you Moxley.” Jon threw his arms around Sami while kissing him.

“You’re the best Sami. I love you too. I’ll never go anywhere either. I got everything I could ever want right here.” Jon pulled out his phone and started to record the two  
talking more about how much they loved each other. They made out almost getting dirty for the camera.

 

4 months later

 

By this time Jon was ready to take the next step and seal everything.

“Baby I want to do it marry you.” 

“I’m glad Moxley.” 

“Let’s do it today.” 

“I haven’t been feeling too great lately but I can suck it for a while.” The two shot up before they went to get married. Jon could tell something was really wrong with Sami he  
looked so pale and out of it. Sami turned to drive but couldn’t see straight.

“Baby let me drive.” They drove to a small chapel in a quick ceremony they were married.

“We did it Moxley. Now it’s official you’re all mine forever. I need to get home I really don’t feel good. When they home Sami to the drugs he just did it till things seemed better.

“I’m going to sleep. You can follow me and fall asleep in my arms. Remember I’ll always love Moxley.” 

“I’ll never forget you. I love you too Sami.” Jon crawled into bed with Sami soon they both fell asleep. The next morning Jon woke up to go to the bathroom Sami felt cold to the touch. Not again Jon thought. He picked him up shaking him really hard.

“Sami wake up. Don’t do this to me. Please wake up. You can’t leave me.” Jon noticed that he wasn’t breathing he froze. He picked up the phone to call for help.

“I need my husband isn’t breathing. Please help me he can’t die.” 

“How long has been like this?”

“I don’t know I woke up and found him like this.” 

“Where are you?” 

“Budget in room 85.” Did he have a drug overdose” Jon thought. The EMTS came 5 minutes later working on him one of them turned to Jon. 

“Did he take something?”

“Yes he was on heroin, meth and Oxy. This might be a drug overdose.” They gave him something to make him throw up before them but a tube in to help him breathe.

“We don’t think he’ll make it.” Jon watched them take him away in the ambulance he didn’t know what to do. Jon had nowhere to turn so he turned Roman he was scared.

“Roman I need you.” 

“Jon is that you?”

“Yes please come here. I have no else to turn everything fell apart.”

“I’ll be there.” When Roman showed up he couldn’t believe how Jon looked he worried about him. Jon ran into Roman’s arms crying he just held him.

“I fucked it again. OMG he’s gone. Why could he do this to me?”

“Jon it’s gonna be ok.” 

“No it won’t you didn't see him. Just drive to the hospital. I have to see my husband.” Did he say husband? Roman thought but did ask questions. They just drove to the hospital Jon cried the whole way there.

“You don't have toanswer. What happened?”

“He wasn’t feeling well I think he took to much drugs and had overdose in his sleep. Please don’t let him die he’s all I have.” When they got there Jon ran to the front desk he was in a panic so Roman helped him out.

“We're looking for Sami Johnson he was brought here for a drug overdose.” Before Jon could hear what was going on he passed out. They rushed to get him help Roman knew this was gonna get really bad before it would get better. 4 hours later Jon woke up and he was lying in bed hooked to a bunch of stuff. The doctor came in he looked at him with a worried look. He’s dead isn’t he Jon thought

“Mr. Lopez are you aware you’re dangerously underweight. We had to put a feeding tube in you. Also we found drugs in you system. Any longer like that you would’ve died.” 

“How is Mr. Johnson?” There was a large pause which didn’t seem to be good.

“We’re not sure yet we’ve been trying to get him stable first. You were the last one to see him alive?”

“Yes.”

“How long he was sick for.” 

“A couple months but it was just a bug.” 

“His body was shutting down. He would’ve died soon but all of the drugs. Right now he's a coma and that all I can tell you.” 

“Can I see him? If this all left let me say goodbye.”

“Ok Mr. Lopez but he’s in really bad shape.” Jon got out of bed into a wheelchair and went to his room. Sami was lying there he looked really bad Jon grabbed his hand. 

“You can't die on me. We just got married and now you’re gone. I love you so much Sami. I thought we were gonna have a live together.”  
Soon it came too much for him to take and went to back to his room.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when everything Jon knows is still in disarray he shuts down and won't talk to anyone. when the one person to Jon gets better will he start talking again or will he still shut down. Jon realizing what a life is without drugs but when the pain get to much how long will that last. the truth about what happens that terrible night is told and secrets are kept. what happens when Jon learns the truth about the night Colby died will it chance his life for good or bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> Hurt Johnny Cash  
> missing by evanescence  
> Address in the stars Caitlin and Will

Jon just lay there trying real hard to cry but it wasn’t working. Roman pulled the chair next to him.  
“Jon you know this wasn’t your fault. You did what you could do.”  
“I should’ve done something yesterday when I knew something was up.” Right after that it seemed like Jon shut down. He played the last thing he said to him “remember I’ll always love you Moxley.” The next day the doctor came in to see how he was doing.  
“Mr. Lopez how are we today.” He didn’t answer he just lay here crying. Please make this pain go away Jon thought

A week later

It had been a week since everything fell apart Jon completely shut down not saying anything just crying. That made everyone wonder about him. Hunter wondered way he wasn’t back at by now.  
“Roman where is Dean if you know?”  
“He he was in bad a car accident and is in the hospital. He would've called but his phone is broken.” After the show he went back to see Jon and see if he was still mute. Roman wanted to say something to the doctor but didn’t say a word.  
“Jon I know you're hurting but you can’t shut down. You need to talk about it. I’m worried you  
might harm yourself. Please tell you won’t.” Jon just lay there not saying anything to Roman.  
“Jon please don’t try to kill yourself.” Roman noticed a notepad with writing on it so he read what was written on it.

Was the only reason you wanted get married was that you knew you were dying. Did you think about me at all when you took all those drugs or did wanna feel better? I’ll do anything to get rid of this pain. Be free and I’ll be better off.

There was more but Roman couldn’t make out the rest of writing. It scared him knowing what was going through Jon’s head.  
“So if can you can’t get high this your only option. I know I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But this can’t be the only answer. I don’t think your listening or care.” When Roman left he wondered if he be there tomorrow. I know he’s gonna hate me for doing this but I have no choice Roman thought. He walked to Jon’s doctor pulling him aside.  
“He needs to be in restraints because he might try to harm himself.”  
“Thanks bring this to my attention.” When Jon was asleep the nurses tied him to the bed. The next day Roman went to see him was to ready to be yelled at but he was quiet.  
“Please don’t be mad I was trying to help you.” A month later there was no change Jon was still was mute the doctor turned to Roman he looked concerned.  
“We’re really about him it been a month since he shut down not saying a word. We’re not sure what do to get him to snap out of it.”  
“Maybe if Sami gets better he’ll get better.”  
“That will be a long shot. We’ll don’t know if he’ll wake up. Soon Jon could be release but we no  
sure I that will be a good idea if he's still mute.” Roman into Jon’s room sitting next to him.  
“What you doing isn’t gonna make things better. Everyone is worried about you. They won’t release unless you start talking.” Jon rolled his eyes at him he just pointed to his notepad Roman he started to write.  
Nothing else matter so what if they think I’m crazy or something. It wouldn’t change anything if tell I’m fine and I can go home.  
“I don’t think it’s that simple but you can try.” 

Jon’s POV

I shut down because of Sami and everything is fucking worried about me. Roman says if I don’t talk I won’t leave the hospital. I wonder if I fake I’m fine they’ll leave me alone.  
The doctor came in he looked at Jon with a worried look he saw all the time.  
“Are we gonna talk today?”  
“Look I’m fine just because I don’t talk doesn’t mean anything. It’s been awhile since I harmed  
myself or thought about it. You don’t need to worry about me.”  
“In 2 weeks you can leave.” Jon pretended anything was till it was time to go. Before he left he went to see Sami.  
“Baby please get better. I love you Sami.” In the car Roman and Jon got to talking about what was going on.  
“So this means you gonna talk again.”  
“This is the last time I’m gonna say anything. I faked it for the doctors. I’m shutting down again. If you tell anyone you’ll be sorry.”  
“This isn’t healthy. What you gonna do when you have to wrestle. Jon shot Roman a dirty look turning to the window. A week later Jon returned to wrestling when he walked in Hunter came up to him he looked angry.  
“You asked for 6 months off then you disappear. What happened?” He didn’t say a word just walked away.  
“Get back here Ambrose. You can’t just walk away from me.” Roman came to him to tell what happened to him.  
“Dean lost his voice. He doesn't know when it will we turn.”  
“Is that really true? Don’t bullshit me Reigns.”  
“It’s true. I wouldn't lie to you. He’s been going through things but is good shape to be in the ring.” Jon walked in his locker room just sitting there he started to cry so he went into the bathroom. When Jon left his locker room Randy noticed he was wearing a new ring.  
“Nice ring. Where you get it? Jon turned away not saying a word.  
“What’s wrong? I could tell you were crying. Once again I won’t say a word.” Jon still didn't  
say anything back he decided to leave. He left a note: left going somewhere go  
to think. You know what I’m gonna do. Jon drove back to the hotel room where he  
picked up his phone charging it. He watched the last video he shot  
“This is Sami I love him with all my heart. I have everything I ever wanted right here. This is so perfect.”  
“I love you much Moxley. I agree with you. I’m never gonna leave you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jon dropped the phone he left a little sick and hurt for the first in over a month he shot up. He loaded the rest of the drugs back in his box. He picked up Sami leather jacket it still smelled like him he put in on. His phone went off it was Roman.  
“Jon are you off getting high?” Here was no answer but he knew what was going on.  
“The person you love more then anything is dying because of drugs but still you use. I don’t get it  
you shut of the world then go get high. Nothing matter to you. Don’t care about your husband?” Right after that Roman got a text it was mean.  
Who gives the right to fucking judge me? You don't know what is going. Fuck you seriously fuck you. Roman don’t you ever bring Sami in all of this or I’ll shut you up. Roman texted him back

What would you do if I told all your secrets? You treat me like shit but you want me to be the one to keep your secrets. I wonder what Hunter’s gonna do when he learns your drug addict that self harms. How long do you think you’ll be a wrestler?

I know you won’t because you know what will happen if lose everything or is what you secretly want bye

Jon turned off his phone he walked in the bedroom when he felt like he was gonna be sick. Jon crawled into the corner he started to cry.  
Baby I’m sorry. I should’ve helped out now look at what happened? Make it go away all the pain. Sami I’m sorry. He was still crying Jon knew had to get back. He took some Sami things and drove back and wondered what was waiting for him. When he walked in it seemed like no one knew he was gone. When he walked into his locker Roman was waiting for him.  
“The last things you said to be was really hurtful and mean. But some of the things I said were out of line too. I know you won’t expect his but I’m sorry I forget you were hurting” Jon rolled his eyes he walked away slamming the bathroom door locking it but Roman went to the door.  
“What are mad at me? You can’t shut me out and the world all because you're hurting. So you wanna be alone I don’t know what you’ll do when you are.” 

A week later Jon gonna be on the show and off raw he had to speak. Before going out there he shot up. His theme plated he walked out to the ring holding a mic. When he got in the ring he looked around could he do it?  
“I’m back and it's good to be back. What you all thought I was dead.” Jon felt like he gonna be sick it was hard to talk.  
“The Asylum is open again I’m not going anywhere. Can’t wait to be champ again.” When he got backstage roman was waiting for him.  
“So what when you're Dean you’ll talk but the rest of the time you gonna shut out the world. He was ready to hide away in his locker room when he was stopped for an interview.  
“Dean why were gone for so long?” Jon froze he didn’t know how to answer it.  
“Stuff came up but it’s great to be back. I missed it all of this.” Jon started to sweat really badly really dizzy luckily he was able to go to his locker room. Jon started to have a panic attack and for the first time in awhile he cut himself everything felt much better. I really can’t deal anymore. I just want this pain to go away Jon thought

2 months later

Jon could hear his phone go off he want to answer he was too out of it to see who it was.  
“Hi.”  
“Is this Mr. Johnston’s husband?”  
“Yes what’s wrong?”  
He felt his heart drop he felt like he was gonna throw up.  
“He woke up. This morning. You can see him.”  
“Thank you.” Sami gonna be ok and we can pick it up where it was and we’ll be together Jon thought. Jon got in his car driving to the hospital he couldn’t wait to see Sami. When he got he saw Sami he was smiling at Jon.  
“Baby I’m so glad your ok. After you get better we can go back to the way things were.”  
“Can’t wait. I’m glad you're here. I love you so much Moxley. Sami pulled Jon in close kissing him Jon got in bed with him. It felt like everything was perfect.  
“How much longer will you be here?”  
“I don’t know. It shouldn’t be too long.”  
“Baby why did take so much drugs without telling me. I thought you had died and I can’t lose you.”  
“Moxley you’ll never lose me. I’m sorry I didn’t that I just wanted to feel better. Forgive me.”  
“I understand and of course I’ll forgive you. Everyone is worried about because I don’t wanna talk  
to anyone and I’m back on drugs.”  
“Fuck ‘em you got me that all that matters. We never go to have fun on our wedding night. I want to take me right here.”  
“Are you sure you're up to it?”  
“I just want you.” Jon shut the door locking it. He pulled his clothes getting on up of Sami they had hot sex it felt so good.  
“That felt so good Moxley your so amazing. I missed this so much. Stay with me for awhile.”  
“Of course.” they stayed in bed in each other arms. The doctor came in to the talk to Sami Jon thought he would to leave.  
“How do you feel Mr. Johnston?”  
“I feel like a sick with a headache. How much longer do I have say there?  
“Another month or more. You almost died of drug overdose. Were trying to kill you?”  
“No I didn’t it was accident. I love my life its perfect.”  
“How long were you on drugs for?”  
“5 years or more. You want to be about why I use to get to no use. I’m not talking about that sorry.” Jon could feel his high wearing off feeling sick so he whispered to Sami he had  
to go.  
“Bye baby. Love you Sami. I’ll be back tomorrow.”  
“Bye. I love you too Moxley.” They kissed for awhile before Jon left. When he got home he shot up feeling better then Roman showed up.  
“Are you ok?” once again Jon did answer him he walked away.  
“I’m tired of this shutting out the world. One day you gonna have to talk. You seem actually happy. What happened? Oh wait you won’t say a word. What are waiting for Sami to get better so you can both shut out the world and get high till it kills you both.”  
Jon stuck his middle finger at him walking to his bedroom locking the door.  
“You won’t feel better till you talk it out.” Soon Roman got a text from Jon

Get the fuck out. I don’t need you trying tell me how live my life. You don’t know what I’m going though. My life so I do what I want. Newsflash I’m happy the way I am. I don’t need to talk anyone but I know you’ll find a way to make me. Just get the fuck out NOW!!!

Roman left once again he felt like he wanted to cry. Before driving off he sent one last text.  
Are you happy when you say all those things? Do you care how mean you are? Wait you don’t care about anyone but you

The next morning Jon got up to see Sami when he got there Sami threw his arms around him.  
“You’re finally here been things about you all night. I love you Moxley.”  
“I love you too Sami.” The two lay on the bed together kissing trying to hold back from doing  
naughty things. They took a pic together and one of them kissing too.  
“The first pic of us as married couple Moxley. Got a question.”  
“What is it baby?”  
“Are we Mr. and Mr. Johnston?” Sami saw the look on the Jon face.  
“I’m not ready for that. I love you Sami.” The tone of his voice Sami knew he was upset so he put  
his arms around him holding tight.  
“I’m sorry I brought it up. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I love you Moxley. I don’t care we're married and that’s all that matters.”  
“Its ok baby I’m not mad. I agree with you too.”  
“You on the good stuff I wish I could have a small hit but I can’t.” Sami noticed a small cut on his arm he ran his fingers over it.  
“Don’t worry I’m ok.”  
“You did this to yourself right? Did it hurt?”  
“Yes and it doesn’t hurt. It feels like more like a release.”  
“Why Moxley?”  
“Before I knew you were ok I couldn’t take all the pain and how much I was hurting. I did to feel better.”  
“Don’t do it again I don't wanna see you do harm to yourself. I’m here now I’ll take away all your pain.” Jon stayed there till they told him Sami need get some rest.  
“Before I go baby here’s your phone we can text and call each other. I love you Sami.”  
“Love that idea. Love you too Moxley.” They kissed goodbye smiling at each other. The next morning Sami called him they talked till Jon saw Roman.  
“Baby I can’t talk anymore Roman’s here. I love you Sami.”  
“I love you Moxley.” Roman noticed he was talking on the phone smiling he wondered who.  
“Who were talking to? I never seen that happy in awhile.” Jon didn’t say a world just texted him  
Mind your own business if you know how to do that. The last I checked I don’t answer to you  
“I bet that was Sami. How much longer till you go back w him to slowly kill yourself?”  
Screw you Roman. You just want me to get better for you so you don’t have to worry anymore. What you gonna get that I don’t want help. Just let me live my life and if things go wrong let me deal with it.  
“Why you gotta be so mean. You’ll always trying to shut me but when things go wrong who do you turn to?” Jon stuck his middle finger at him looking at him with really mean look on his face.

2 weeks later Jon hadn’t heard from Sami it worried him. Why wasn’t he talking to him? He knew in a week he would be released so he waited till then. He drove to the hospital. He couldn’t wait till they could be alone. Before he got there he texted Sami telling he would be there soon. When he got there Sami looked at him in different way.  
“Baby is something wrong?”  
“We need to talk. I’m sorry.” By the look on his face Jon knew something was wrong.  
“About what?”  
“We can’t be together anymore. I still love you Moxley. I got clean and I’m go back to real life”  
“We’re married and you said you’d never leave me.”  
“I’ll be with you if you get clean. Don’t act like that Moxley. Imagine the life we’ll have when you get  
clean.” Jon felt his world fall apart he stood in shock. Sami went to him wrapping his arms around him he gave him a kiss. Jon pushed him away before he left trying not to cry.  
“I love you Sami. I thought out of everyone you’d be different. We’ll have a nice life bye.”  
“Moxley wait.” Jon was already gone by then. When Jon got in his car he sat there trying to figure  
out what was going on. I just lost the last good thing I had going for me Jon thought. The whole ride home Jon fought the dark thoughts running through his head. When he got home his phone it was Sami.  
“What do you want?”  
“Don’t be like that. I love you Moxley. I’ve loved since I first saw you. I’m not doing this to hurt you I’m doing this to help you. Out of everyone I thought you would understand.”  
“Oh I get your just like everyone else. I can’t believe I trusted you. Why can’t things be like the way  
they were before?”  
“Because I want a future one with you. We can’t have one if I one with you. I know why you use but I promise if you get clean I’ll take all your pain away.”  
“Give me time to think.”  
“No matter happens I’ll always love you Moxley. I meant everything I said. Bye Moxley.” 

Jon's POV

Sami get clean and won't take me back unless I get clean. Is that worth it? I love with him all my heart. I know I see to escape everything. I don’t know if being Sami would take away all this pain. I know a life with Sami would be heaven

Jon felt like he was having a panic attack this one felt worst. The room started to spin like he wants to pass out. Jon hit his head right before he passed out. When he woke up he was  
out of it.  
“Baby you came I love you.”  
“It’s Roman are you ok?” Jon got up moving away from him.  
“What the fuck are you here?”  
“Came to see you.”  
“So you came in. You're so nosey.”  
“That’s the thanks I get for helping you. Were you crying?"  
“Everything is fine but you’ll tell me otherwise.”  
“Please talk to me.”  
“You wouldn’t understand. I can handle things on my own.”  
“Like getting high and cutting till it feel better.”  
“So what if it's the truth. Why can’t I take it all away?”  
“Just listen to yourself that doesn’t sound Healthy. You need help.”  
“You never thought about it once?”  
“No. why do thing Sami would do if you did? Jon walked into his room slamming the door.  
“Please leave me alone.”  
“What you gonna do in there.”  
“Mind your fucking business. Oh you think I’m gonna attempt it. He took the razor pressed against his arm he saw the blood. “I’m sorry Sami.” He put it to his wrist if I press it hard enough it’ll all over. What about Sami? Jon thought he dropped the razor he picked his phone texting Sami

Baby I need you I’m thinking about doing bad things. Please come over.

You got me why would wanna do this Moxley? I’ll come over on condition. no drugs.  
Deal baby anything for you

Jon knew he would be mad at him for harming him. He hoped Roman would be when Sami came over. He opened the just to see if was alone and he was. Sami came over he threw his arms around holding him tight.  
“It’ll be ok I promise. Do something for me Moxley.”  
“Anything.”  
“Go off drugs for a month and stay me and see how you feel. I love you.”  
“Ok for you. I love you too.” Jon left with Sami leaving his phone behind with a message Roman saying:  
I’m gonna be with Sami for a month. Just tell Hunter I’m sick bye. He left it on the table turned off and his little box. Sami noticed another cut on his arm he hated seeing that but didn’t say a word. He noticed the scar on his wrist he knew what was from.  
“Did you try to kill yourself? I saw the scar that way I asked.”  
“Long story. felt like I wouldn’t handle things. What it bothers you to know I tried?”  
“No I understand. Were you thinking that today? He couldn’t lie to Sami.  
“Yes. I was but I couldn't.” 

A month later

Jon was clean and having a wonderful time with Sami everything seemed perfect.  
“See I told you didn’t need drugs Moxley. I love this I got you. I would never do anything to hurt you.” One night he was lying in bed with Sami he had a panic attack that worried Sami.  
”Are you ok Moxley?”  
“No I’m having a panic attack.”  
“Is because what with you that guy?”  
“Yes it is. I can’t deal with deal. I want it to go away bye but won’t."  
“I’ll make it better don’t think about.”

Flashback to that night

Jon felt bad for what said to he shot a Colby a text  
Baby I’m sorry you know I didn't mean it. I love you always. Please come home.

Colby read the message he was all happy. He started to write him back he took his eyes off the road for awhile didn’t see the car before he press send the car was stuck it flipped over a couple of times before slamming to a pole. The phone fell out of his head under the seat. Blood was all over the car everyone wondered if he was ok. The ambulance showed up shortly after. Colby was slumped over the wheel loved in blood. In his head was piece of paper written on it was a little to Jon  
Sorry Johnny baby didn’t know this would happen. I don’t want to leave you but I have to. Remember no matter what happens I’ll always gonna love you. You were my last thought. I love you Johnny baby.  
They pulled him out of the car laying him on the grass trying to get him to resound right after that's when he looked up.  
“Please tell Jonathan Lopez I love him please.” They put him in the ambulance on the way there was no change he died before getting to the hospital.  
“We should find who this Jonathan Lopez is. And tell him and give him the later. I think that was his husband.” Roman was asleep when his phone went off he didn’t recognize the number but picked up.  
“Who is this?”  
“Greenville hospital your brother Colby Lopez was killed in a car accident 2 hours ago. Sorry to have to tell this. We need you to come to the hospital. He left something for his husband.”  
Roman got dress driving to hospital he was trying hard to cry.He couldn’t believe everything that was going on

Flashback to 2012

One night Colby pulled Roman a side after a show.  
“I need you do me be a big favor?”  
“What is it?”  
“If anything bad happened to me I want you to be notified. I don’t want to worry Jon. I’ll tell them you're my brother.”  
“I know about this.”  
“I don’t worry Jon unless it's really bad.”  
“I’ll do it.” 

Roman got to the hospital he went to the front desk by this time he wouldn’t hold it in he was crying.  
“I was told to come here my brother Colby Lopez was killed.”  
“Right before he died he wanted a Jonathan Lopez to know he loved him. He also wrote a little to him.” Roman fell to the ground it was all too much for him to take it. 

Roman’s POV

I found out Colby was killed in a car accident tonight. Right before he died wanted to Jon to know how much he loved him and wrote him a note. How I can I tell Jon all of this and give this note. The one person that meant the world to Jon is gone and ii have told the news. When I agreed to help Colby I never I’d telling Jon he died.

Roman felt numbtrying to figure out everything out. He read the note it broke it his head. His phone went off it was Jon he couldn’t answer it he just turned off his phone. In his head he tried to play when would say to Jon tomorrow. How do you tell someone their husband died Roman Thought?

 

End of flashback

One night Sami reached out for Jon but he wasn’t in bed he noticed the bathroom door was closed.  
“Moxley are you ok in there?”  
“Yeah I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.” He got back in bed with Sami. When Sami put his arms  
around Jon his hand had blood on it he noticed a cut on his arm.  
“Why Moxley? You need to stop this. I hate it when you do it.”  
“It’s no big deal baby.”  
“But it is you're hurting yourself to feel better. You need to get help. It hurts me to see that but does  
seem to matter to you.”  
“Baby that’s not true you know that. I care about you. Maybe I want to stop but I can't.” Sami showed Jon his arm with all the cuts all down his arms.  
“I hate seeing them and it to know I did it to myself.”  
“If you don’t stop I can’t you in my life hope you understand. I’m saying this because I love you  
Moxley.”  
“I understand.” Jon felt let down but he just smiled at Sami like everything was ok. 2 weeks later Jon started to have a panic attack so he went to the bathroom he pressed the razor to arm trying to real hard not to cut but he couldn’t handle the pain. He made 2 cuts Sami saw the whole thing he looked upset and disappointed.  
“I’m sorry baby believe I tried not to but the pain was just too much. I love you so Sami.”  
“I hate to do this but you have go Moxley. I’m doing this because I love you.” Sami saw the tears in Jon eyes it broke it heart.  
“Please don't’ say goodbye. I’ll go to the hospital and get help I mean it. I can’t lose you too. You’re the last good things in my life.” Jon and Sami drove to the hospital where Jon checked in for help.  
“I’m proud of you Moxley. See you a couple a weeks. I love you so much.” Sami kissed Jon one more time before they said goodbye.

Weeks later

Jon left the hospital but relapsed starting to use drugs again. He felt bad he knew Sami wouldn’t  
take him back now. When he got home he turned on his phone texting Sami.  
I’m sorry baby I got back on drugs. I know you’ll be disappointed in me. I love you so much. Please don’t stop loving me.

Why Moxley? No matter what happens I don’t ever stop loving you Moxley. You’ll be my true love. I wish I could help you. I love you Moxley

The message made Jon smiled knowing he’ll always have Sami in his life. His phone went off it was Roman.  
“Hi.”  
“What happened to you?”  
“I was with Sami and I was clean. But stuff happened now I’m on drugs again.”  
“I have something for  
you.” 10 minutes Roman come over he handed Jon a letter. He read it started to cry and then looked at Roman like he was pissed.  
“He wrote this the night he died and you're giving me this now. You held this home how come?”  
“I thought I would be too much for you to take in all at once. I’m sorry for hiding this.”  
“Whatever. Sometimes I wonder about how you really feel about me. All this time you know how he left and held from me watching my life go to hell. It wasn’t enough to tell me. What would you have done if I killed myself before I found the note? Jon walked to his bedroom before slamming the looked him in the eye.  
“One more things get the fuck out and don’t come back. I’m serious.” Jon kept reading the letter crying over everything. I just threw away what I had with Sami and if he knew about the later I would be with him right now Jon thought


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after learning everything he reaches out the only one will understand. what happens when he can't reach Sami and feels so alone. Jon tries to make things better but what nothing gets better. he realizes the only wya to feel better is end it all. will anyone be able to stop him before it's too late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter songs  
> why rascal flatts  
> how do you get that lonely Blaine Larson  
> Just the way you are pierce the veiil

Jon picked up his phone he texted Sami  
“I need to talk to you everything is falling part. Love you”  
He waited for Sami to answer him back he wanted all the pain to go way he picked up a razor he  
pressed to his arm cutting deep watching the blood fall on the ground. Then make things better he shot up soon everything went numb he couldn't feel anything. His phone went off he picked it was Roman  
“Are you ok? I don’t want you to do anything stupid. You have right to mad but don’t shut me out.”  
“Oh you think I’m gonna try to kill myself. Now you care screw you. Please don't talk me if you can. I just want to be left alone but I know won’t let me.” Jon wanted to turn off his phone but needed to talk to Sami. He put Roman on block again. Roman called in back but couldn’t get through.  
“The number you trying to reach has either been disconnected or out of service.” He blocked me again Roman thought. A week went by still nothing from Sami. The only person who he ever cared about wasn’t talking to him. Did he finally blow it? It was raw so he had to show up when he walked in Roman went to him to him.  
“So you blocked me from calling talking to you. I can understand so what you're only talking to Sami now.” Jon didn’t answer he just walked to his locker he called Sami.  
“I love you Sami. Please don’t stop talking to me. I know I fucked up but don't give up on me.”  
Dean felt his heart break so he cut his arm deep. Dean had to get to the ring on the way there Hunter stopped he wondered why.  
“What happened to your arm?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You’re bleeding.”  
Dean looked down there was blood dripping down his hand. Oh shit Dean Thought  
“I must have hit my arm. I’ll be fine.”  
“Take off your hoodie.” Dean knew if he did Hunter would the cuts. He took of it off hopefully he wouldn’t notice.  
“Can I go now?”  
“It doesn't look like you fell. Did you do that to your arm? He didn’t say a word just walked away.  
“Get back here we need talk about it.”  
“I fell that’s it. I wouldn’t do that to myself. That’s just crazy. Look I’m fine.” Hunter knew something was up but didn’t say a word just let Dean go out there. When he was walking to the ring he felt like having a panic attack and tried to push through it. Dean felt the room spin he passed out on the ramp.  
“OMG Dean Ambrose just passed out on the ramp. What happened?” Jerry said. The fans looked shocked and scared. The medics came out helping him backstage 10 minutes later he woke up and Hunter was there oh shit this is bad Dean Thought.  
“Why did you passed out and don’t lie to me.”  
“I was having a panic attack.”  
“Are you sure you're not sick because we checked out your temperature and you have a bad fever.”  
“I feel fine. If I was sick I wouldn’t have come or tired to wrestler. Can I leave?”  
“You should do home and get better. You can’t wrestle till you get better. Dean stormed out angry he went to his locker room he called Sami still no answer.  
“Sami please don’t be mad at me I really need you. Everything going bad. I love you.” Dean picked his stuff and went to leave and Roman stopped him.  
“Where you going?”  
“I passed out and Hunter thinks I’m sick. He told me I have to go home and can’t wrestle till I’m better.”  
“What made them think you were sick? You know that they're right.”  
“Shut up Roman. They said I have a fever I said I was fine but don’t believe me.”  
“Of course. Everyone is gonna find it all out and you can't hide it.”  
“You’d love that. I’m not in the mood to listen to you.”  
“Maybe for once you get better.”  
“I’m fine. Everyone needs to leave to me.”  
“Even Sami?”  
“Fuck you.” Jon got in the car he drove off when he alone when he got home he shot up twice of much everything felt better. Then he could hear Sami’s voice in his head “I’ll always love you Moxley no matter what.”  
“Then fucking answer me.” Jon started to feel like he couldn’t breathe hope I pass out and don’t woke up Jon thought laughing to him. It was just a panic attack and symptoms passed. Dark thoughts were in his head the thoughts made him smile.  
Jon’s POV  
I wonder if I ended it right now would anyone care. Would Sami then finally come around? Everyone needs to leave me alone. I’m fucking fine but why can’t they see that. The only one that matter won’t talk to me. I can’t take it anymore. Wish it all go away. I don’t care I just want it over with. Jon pulled out a notebook and started to write down ideas on how to end it all. It got dark and a little scary. He smiled and laughed while writing the whole thing.  
3 weeks later  
Jon still hadn’t heard from Sami so he just shut down completely on and off stage. When he back he did go through tests.  
“It looks like your healthy the fever is gone. Now you can wrestle again.” He bumped into Roman who took him in the locker room  
“Is everything ok?” He didn't say anything back but roman knew what going on.  
“What you shut down again. You need to stop that and face your problems. It’s all because of Sami? I know you're hurting but can’t do this. What are you gonna do when they figure it out and take your the hospital.” Dean just stuck his middle finger at him walking away. He went to his locker room he locked the door. He was pissed feeling like crying so he took out the blade and pressed it to his arm making cuts on his arm. He wanted to make a deep cut and see how long it would talk to for it to be over with it. A week later he was in match and he won the WHC but acted like it was no big deal. After the match Renee came up to talk about what happened.  
“Dean you became the champ but you act like you're not happy about it. Is something wrong?” He just stood there not saying a word then just walked away. He pulled his notepad he circled one of the options and wrote next week.  
2 days before “the day”  
He was lying alone in his room getting high when his phone went off it was Sami.  
“Moxley’s what’s wrong?”  
“Now you care. I needed you a month ago but you didn’t answer me. Now you wanna talk.”  
“Moxley I was in the hospital after a car accident. I didn’t have my phone on me. Don't dare say I don’t care about you. You know if I could be there I would’ve been. I’m coming over.” 10 minutes later Sami showed up when he got there he would tell Jon was hurting. He wrapped Jon in his arms.  
“Moxley tell me what’s wrong?”  
“Roman held important about Colby’s death from me. I’m sorry for what happened.” Jon thought  
about telling Sami the plan but he was just was happy he was there.  
“That sucks. There is more I know it. Tell me everything.”  
“Not now. Let’s just be together for the next day.”  
“Of course anything for you Moxley.” 

The day had come when everything would come to an end. Jon plugged his ipod into a speaker putting on the song just the way you are on loop. He picked a razor he made a deep cut into his wrist a decided to film it. He decided to call Sami one last time. Even after everything Jon still wanted to be with Sami.  
“I wanted to say goodbye. I love you Sami. I always loved you and always will. I’m but I had too.”  
“Please don’t Moxley you have me. I don’t care anymore I’ll be with you no what. Moxley it’s not worth it. I love you Moxley. I’m be there please still be there.” Jon hung up the phone without saying anything. Sami called back but his answering message  
“Please don’t let be the end Moxley I need you.” He got in his car and drove to the arena he hoped he would get there on time. He was still quite high so he started out the video laughing.  
“I’m done with everything and as you've seen I slit my wrists. I don’t feel everything and soon I’ll be free from all the pain. If Roman knew what I was doing here he’d run in saving me. Telling me bullshit like I should’ve take my life. Without Colby in my life I have nothing. Guess what Roman you tried so hard but you couldn’t save me too bad.” Jon was laughing really hard as he turned sickly pale.  
“The best thing to happen in my life was I met and married Colby but that was taken away from me. I’m glad to have a friend like Roman. I hate saying goodbye to the another love with my life Sami because right now I don’t want to be apart from him. I hope he understands. Goodbye world.” Jon clicked upload video thing on the phone before passing out. An hour later everyone was tired of hearing that song. Tyson knocked on his door there was no answer.  
“Dean turn that shit off. I’m tired of hearing that song.” Everyone wondered why he wasn’t answering them. Some more people banged on his door yelling at him. Paige looked worried at what was going on.  
“We could just open the door and see what is happening.”  
“Maybe he’s asleep.”  
“How can anyone sleep with that loud music?” After another 20 mints ever was done with the music so Randy decided to go in and talk to Dean. Randy opened the door turning of the music but he didn't see Dean. When Randy walked in more he saw Dean lying on the floor he looked dead.  
“Dean speak to me.” When he picked him up he saw the blood Randy checked his pulse there was none. Randy screamed real loud running out of the locker room. He looked pale he started to cry. Everyone looked at him wondering what wrong.  
“Randy what’s wrong?” Randy didn’t know how tell people.  
“Dean is Dean is.” As Randy was talking he had a crack in his voice like he trying not to cry.  
“What’s wrong with Dean?”  
“Dean is dead.” Randy started to sob everyone looked at shock like they didn't believe him. Soon Roman noticed everyone hanging around Dean’s locker room. When he saw Randy he wondered what going on.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Something really horrible happened.”  
“What happened? Where is Dean? I haven't seen him all night.” When heard him say Dean he started to cry again.  
“Roman I think you need to sit down.” Roman knew something really bad happened by the tone of his voice.  
“Just tell me.”  
“Dean killed himself.” When Roman heard that he ran into the locker room. When Roman took one look at Dean knew he was gone.  
“Why did you have do this Jon?” Roman give Jon one last hug. Stephanie walked by noticed something was wrong.  
“What is going out here?”  
“Something bad just happened.”  
“What.”  
“Randy found that Dean ended his life.” She entered the locker room when she saw everything she just screamed running out. All the wrestlers were all in shock crying and wondering why he would do that. When Sami got there he ran into the building looking for Jon’s locker room. He saw a both people standing in a front of door he knew what was going but he ran anyway. When he saw Jon he fell to his knees  
“Why Moxley was things really that bad? You had to do what about me? Did think about me at all when you did it?” 

Sami saw a letter with his name on it he opened and read it. He cried while he read the letter

Sami you were right I should’ve come with you but I couldn’t deal all my pain. I’m so lucky I got to be with you for the short time. I know you didn’t want to harm myself but I just couldn’t help myself. I bet you disappointed in me for doing this. Hopefully you can understand why. I’m sorry I let you down and couldn’t save me. I was in love with the first moment I met you.  
Jon  
Sami couldn’t stop crying the one that loved with all his heart and meant everything to him was now gone. He tried to understand why he did it and if it was his fault. He into those blue eyes kissing those lips one last time. Everyone watched wondering who that was and what was his relationship to Jon. Randy went up to him.  
“I’m sorry. May I ask who are you?”  
“Sami. I’m his husband. Did you know why he wanted to do this?”  
“The pain from Colby death I guess.” Sami grabbed Jon’s phone walking out when Roman stopped him.  
“So you were the guy he was with after Colby. Did you try to help him too?  
“Look I know he was dealing with stuff but things were great when we were together. I don’t know you. Don’t think you can come up to me acting like I caused all of this. The only person I loved with all hear is one. You have no idea how I’m feeling.”  
“He was my best friend. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to apply anything.”

The next raw they had amazing tribute for Dean. Stephanie told everyone that Dean was sick for a long time. They couldn’t tell the fans that he ended his life.  
A week later Roman was on youtube when she a new video from Dean on his account dated that awful night and clicked on it. Roman watched the whole thing. Afterwards he felt sick and upset. This was so sick how could he show the world this. There were tons of memorable messages to him. Roman watched all of his videos when he was happy and with Colby. He watched all 200 videos smiling and crying  
2 days later they had his funeral all the wrestlers he knew were there with his friends and family. Roman give the eulogy it was beautiful and wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Sami showed up Jon’s funeral he looked out it. He listened to them talk about Jon like he knew him. He got up there grabbing the mic.  
“You all act like you knew what he was going through. I saw him struggle with his demons. Moxley tell me you gonna call me up and tell you love me and can’t wait to see me. Moxley I need you Moxley please don’t leave me.” Roman had to remove Sami watching him break down. He followed them to the burial site. At the burial site Jon was buried next to Colby. When everyone was leaving Roman turned around he saw Jon finally meeting up with Colby. The two ran into each other's arms kissing. He smiled at them as he saw them pass by.  
“Why are you so happy?”  
“Because Jon is finally happy.” He sat in his car waiting for everyone to leave when they were gone Sami went to his stone crying it read. Jonathan Lopez 1985-2020 great friend and husband  
“Moxley please tell me why this was all worth it. You said you loved me but you left me alone. I hoped we have a life together. I guess the pain was too much. Why couldn’t have let help you? I would’ve made everything better. Now I understand why you cut and I wish I didn’t. I love you Moxley but guess that doesn’t mean anything anymore.” Sami felt something touch his hand he saw Jon.  
“I’m truly sorry for leaving you. I tried real hard but it was too much. I love you baby. You can’t destroy your life all because I’m gone. I learned that the hard way.” Sami could feel Jon kiss him one last time.  
“I love you Moxley.” He watched Jon fade out smiling back at Sami before leaving


	11. the other ending(happy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon realizes there nothing left for him so decided to end it all. what happens when he can't because of Sami. he realize he wants to live his life with Sami. when he gets help with he have the life he deserves. after everything gets better he finally gets have everything he wanted

It had been awhile since Jon and Sami talked he still couldn’t believe everything. He sat in his locker room all depressed the drugs didn’t help. He thought if he came out to wrestle it would take his mind of everything but that didn't help. After his match he sat in his locker room getting high then had a panic attack he pulled out a razor to cut to relieve the pain. I’m not feeling any better. I’m done with everything Jon thought. He pressed the blade to his wrist he watched the blood fall on the floor he cut his other wrist while he was watching himself he heard Sami’s voice running  
through. “Remember I’ll love you Moxley I want you and only you Moxley.” Jon started to cry and got up he picked his phone and called Roman.  
“I need you here now. I fucked up big time and need to go to the hospital.” Roman rushed over he saw the cuts and all the blood he knew he had to stop the bleed he tied two shirts on his wrists. When they were on their way to the hospital Jon called Sami. While slipping in and out of conscious  
I’m sorry I fucked up. I love you Sami.”   
“What’s wrong Moxley?”   
“I need I need you to meet me at the hospital.”   
“Moxley what happened?”  
“I tried to kill myself but had regrets because I love you. Please don’t hate me.”   
“I’ll always love you Moxley. I’ll be there.” Jon passed out shortly after Roman looked at him he looked so pale he wondered was everything ok. When they got there they rushed Jon back Roman saw all blood. Why did you do this Jon. Now you couldn’t make it Roman thought? Soon after Sami showed up going up to Roman he looked worried.  
“How’s Moxley?”  
“He looked pretty bad. I’m still waiting for the news about him.” It was 2 hours before the doctor  
came out coming up to Roman  
“We were able to stitch the wounds. He lost of a blood and slipped into a coma.”   
“Can I see him?”   
“Sure.” Sami walked into his room he was hooked to everything and the blood. He sat next to him holding his hand.  
“Moxley why did you have do this. Why didn’t you call me I would've made it all better? I love you  
Moxley.” Roman watched Sami from the door he knew their love was for real.  
“I don't know you but thank you for saving his life. He means the world to me.”   
“You’re the one Jon’s married to?”  
“Yes. I feel so lucky everyday I get call Moxley mine. I’m Sami.”   
“I’m Joe but you can call me Roman.” Soon after Roman’s phone went it was Hunter. What would he say to him?  
“I know what this about.”   
“So you know why Dean’s locker is covered in blood. What fuck happened? I want the truth no he’s sick story.”  
“He tried to kill himself.”   
“Holy shit. Is he ok?” Roman felt sick he just broke down.  
“I really don’t know.” He could hear Hunter crying in the background.  
“Hope he get better.”   
A week later  
There still wasn’t a change in Jon’s condition Sami never left his side.  
“Please wake up Moxley. I need you my life. I asked you marry me and you did now you can’t leave me like this. You have no idea how much I love you and you mean to me Moxley. ” During the night Sami felt someone grab his hand he looked it was Jon Sami smiled.  
“OMG Moxley you made it.”   
“What happened?”  
“You don’t remember?”   
“Did I get injured in the ring or something?”  
“You tried to kill yourself Moxley.” Jon looked down at his bandaged wrists he couldn’t believe it.  
“I’m sorry baby. All I want is life with you. Everything be different I promise.”  
“I’m not mad at you I’m just glad your ok.” The doctor came the next day to see how Jon was doing.  
“Mr. Lopez how are you feeling?”  
“Good I’m confused about what’s going on.”   
“Why did you try to kill yourself?”  
“I don’t remember why. All I know is that I need help for drugs use my mental health.”   
“We’ll arrange the help. How long have you had suicidal thoughts and been on drugs.”   
“For years on both. I just want get over all this pain so I can I live my life. “  
Jon agreed to enter a mental hospital for 2 months then go to off rehab. Be heading off to his treatment he had meeting with Hunter.  
“By now you heard about how I tried to kill myself. I’m gonna go into treatment for awhile. This hard for me to admit I have a big drug problem please don’t fire me. I’m sorry for everything that happened. After I get better I’m take time to be with my husband.”   
“I’m glad to hear you're seeking help for your problems, if anyone asks you got injured and you had to have surgery. Wish you luck.”  
“Thanks.” After the meeting Jon Sami took time to be alone one last time for a while. They locked the door getting bed together. They started to make out which lead to dirty things and hot sex.  
“I’ll miss you Moxley but I’m glad you're the getting help you need. I’m proud of you. I love you so much Moxley.”   
“I’ll miss you too baby. When I get out it’ll so perfect just the two of each. I love you so much too.” Jon took a pic of Sami because wouldn't able to use his phone.  
6 months later  
Sami packed up Jon from rehab he looked so much better they ran into each other's arms kissing for awhile.  
“Oh god I missed you like crazy. I love you Moxley.”   
“I felt the same way too. I love you too baby.” They drove to back to Sami’s house holding hands.  
Jon was gonna live the life he deserved.  
“Moxley I think we should get married again because I can’t remember that day. I know that wrong  
to say.”   
“I agree I can’t remember either it was because we were both high out of their minds when it happened.  
I want remember everyone part of our lives together. I love you baby.”   
“I feel the same too. I love you more Moxley.”   
A month later  
It was finally the big day they were gonna get married for real. They had been planning this day for while they wanted everything to be perfect. Jon walked down the aisle looking at Sami the whole time when he got there the joined hands as the preacher began the vows.  
"We are gathered here today in the sight of God and angels, and the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words which shall unite Sami Jonhston and Jonathan Lopez in holy matrimony. Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace."  
"Would you please face each other and join hands. Jonathan Lopez do you take Sami Jonhston to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him forevermore?"  
"I do."  
"Sami Jonhston you take Jonathan Lopez to be your Husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him forevermore?"  
"I do." Sami put his arms around Jon holding him tight as he slowly kissed him. After it was all over and they were back they had hot sex and other sexually things.  
“Oh Moxley that was so good. You’re always so amazing. I love you so much Moxley. “  
“You’re always too baby. I love you too much too.” They lay in bed before going to sleep in each others arms.

2 weeks later  
Jon hadn’t be feeling well for awhile but tried not let it get to him. One night he was lying down Roman came up to him he knew something was wrong.  
“Are you ok?”  
“Just been feeling sick for awhile don’t worry I’ll be fine.”   
“How long have you felt like that.”   
“A day after the wedding.”   
“I have a feeling of what is wrong with you.”  
“What is it?”   
“I think you’re pregnant.” Jon looked at Roman in shock he couldn’t believe  
that. I’m gonna have a baby. Sami and I are gonna be parents Jon thought.  
“I’ll be back I’m gonna go to the drugstore.” Jon drove to the local drugstore he got a pregnancy test he was nervous. When he got back he went to straight to the bathroom 5 minutes later Jon looked at the test it said +. How I am gonna go about telling Sami the news Jon thought to himself.  
“You were right Roman. I can’t believe it I’m gonna be a dad.” Jon knew he couldn’t wrestle how was gonna go about getting time off. He walked into Hunter’s office he was scared.  
“Hunter I was wondering if could take some time off.”   
“How come?”  
Jon froze he didn't know what to say to him he knew he probably had to lie to him.  
“I haven’t time yet to spend with my husband. I was thinking about 11 months.”   
“That’s almost a year. Is something up with you?”  
“I think during my last match I hurt myself quite bad and I need time to heal.”  
Hunter could tell by the look on Jon’s face he was hurting.”   
“Ok I can do that. Just be more careful.” He got in car and drove when he there Sami wondered why he home so early.  
“Why are you home Moxley? Is everything ok?”  
“We need to talk.”  
“What is it?”  
“You know how I haven't been feeling well lately.”   
“Yes.”  
“I just found tonight that I’m pregnant.” Sami got up and wrapped his around Jon he was so happy.  
“Wow that is amazing news Moxley. I’m gonna be a dad.”  
“I was able to time off during the whole pregnancy.”  
3 months later  
Sami and Jon went to doctor together to see how their baby was doing. The doctor came asked Jon how he was doing then the doctor did an ultrasound. They both smiled then they saw the baby on the monitor.  
“You wanna know the sex of the baby.”   
“Yes.”  
“You’re having a boy.” The doctor gave Jon the picture of the ultrasound. He couldn’t believe it in 6 months he was gonna have baby boy. When they got home they started to talk about names.  
“What should we call our little boy?”  
“What about we name Colby Daniel after Colby.”   
“I love it what if put the Moxley in it too.”   
“Love it. Colby Daniel Moxley Johnston.”   
“Perfect Moxley.” Sami put his hand on Jon’s small bump he could feel the baby kick that made him so happy. He had everything he ever wanted Moxley as his husband who was giving him a child. Later that night they feel in each other's arms Sami held on Jon’s bump.  
Roman helped Jon threw the baby shower everyone was so happy for him. No one thought he would get to this point. By the time of baby shower Jon was quite big and everyone could tell he was pregnant.  
4 months later  
Jon was in bed sleeping when he feel the bed wet around him he first thought he had an accident but his water had broke. He shook Sami awake.  
“Baby it’s time I’m having the baby.” Sami helped Jon the car while they were  
driving to the hospital Jon could feel lots of pain.  
“Moxley are you ok?”  
“It hurts so badly. I’m trying to take my mind of it.” Sami grabbed Jon’s hand to try to make him feel better. Then they got there he went to have the baby 2 hours Colby Daniel Moxley Johnston was born at 3:30 am 3/17/20 6lbs 6oz. Jon held his son in his arms he couldn't believe he gave  
birth to him. After Jon was rested they called Roman to see him. When Roman got there and saw the baby he so happy.  
“He is so cute. What’s his name?”  
“Colby Daniel Moxley Johnston.”   
“I love the name. Colby would be so happy for you. He looks like both of you.”  
Jon let Roman hold him they took a pic.  
“Thank  
you. This is your uncle Roman.” 2 days later Jon and the baby both left the hospital when he was driving he looked up. Colby look at my newborn son I named him after you.  
5-13 years  
Colby had Sami’s blonde hair and Jon’s blue eyes he was handsome. It was time for first day for school the two of them walked him in. they couldn’t believe that he was growing. Colby was smart and finished school with honors the day after graduation they had talk with their son.  
“Colby I can’t believe you’re 18 and you finished high school. We’re so proud of you.  
We’re also so lucky that came into our lives.”   
“I love you guys so much. I’m so lucky too to have 2 great fathers. You taught me while.” They all hugged.


End file.
